The timing of me reading this chapter is perfect (Isn’t God wonderful about things like that?!) because in just a couple hours, my husband and I will be meeting with our pastor about my husband’s role at the church. Currently he is the Worship Pastor. He was ordained a few weeks ago and there have been talks about him moving into more of an associate pastor role, still overseeing worship ministry. We have been praying about this role change and have been blessed by the clarity God has brought to us. You see, we know there is a call on my husband’s life to full time pastoral ministry. But what that looks like exactly, we are not sure. Right now, he is a music educator, both at a school (teaching k-12th grade music, including drum line, recorders, elementary band, and jazz band) and teaching private music lessons, a Bible teacher, a PE teacher, and a Children’s Pastor, teaching chapels at his school. Plus, he is a Worship Pastor and is finishing up his seminary degree. He is stretched thinner than thin and he is worn out. I can sense an unrest starting to rumble in my husband. He believes he is where he needs to be at this point, but cost of living is going up and his salary isn’t. We can’t do this for much longer. The Lord has shown us that. Now…what to do about it? We don’t have any idea. We are waiting on the Lord to move and being faithful in the work he has called us to do.
“If I’ve learned anything being married two and a half decades, it’s that a wife can’t pressure her husband to BE something, but she can pray for him to become it.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 93)
I’ve pressured my husband about finding a new job, just one job, a better paying job, a more fulfilling job, the job I think he should have. How do you think that went over? Yeah, you can imagine. I am ashamed when I think back on some of the conversations we have had. I was trying to help, trying to show him how much I thought he was worth, trying to encourage him to find his purpose. He left the conversation feeling defeated, worthless and angry. Definitely not the results I had hoped for. I’ve had to ask for the Lord’s and my husband’s forgiveness on more than one occasion.
“How do you feel about what your husband is doing with his life? Do you lack peace about it because he is on a path that is unfulfilling, beating him down, or going nowhere? If so, then pray, ‘Lord, take my husband from this place, reveal to him what You’ve called him to be, and open doors to what he should be doing.’” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 94)
I’ve learned I just need to pray. He knows how I feel. I don’t need to do the woman thing and tell him a million times. He’s not stupid; in fact he’s brilliant, and he knows he’s worn out. He probably feels the same way I do, but he has chosen to lay it all at the cross and let the Lord work in His timing. We are praying together now that God would reveal His purpose for my husband’s life. Things are so much better when I keep my mouth shut regarding this issue. We are still in the financial situation we were in before, but there is peace in our home. Before, there were financial struggles and strife in our home. Not fun at all. I love the prayer above. I will be incorporating it into my prayer time for my husband.
I also thought this paragraph was great.
“Whatever God has called your husband to be or do, He has also called you to support it and be part of it, if in no other way than to pray, encourage, and help in whatever way possible. For some women that means creating a good home, raising the children being there for him, and offering prayer and support. Other women may take and active role by becoming a partner or helper. In either case, God does not ask you to deny your own personhood in the process. God has called YOU to something, too. But it will fit in with whatever your husband’s calling is, it will not be in conflict with it. God is not the author of confusion, strife, or unworkable situations. He is a God of perfect timing. There is a time for everything, the Bible says. The timing to do what God has EACH of you to do will work out perfectly, if it’s submitted to God.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 95)
As we pray for our husband’s purpose, let us also pray how our purpose fits perfectly with his. For me, creating a good home and raising our son and being there for my husband is my purpose; when our son is older I will be able to play a more active role in my husband’s purpose of ministry.
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven.