May The Lord Give You Increase

I came across these Bible verses a couple days ago and I wrote them on the white board in the kitchen. This is where I spend a ton of time during the day, so the white board has our dinner menu for the week, our grocery list and Scripture or song lyrics that minister to me.

I love this promise from the Psalms.

“He will bless those who fear the LORD,
Both small and great.

May the LORD give you increase more and more,
You and your children.”

– Psalm 115:13-14

I like the blessing part. Who wouldn’t? But the fear of the Lord part is a little harder for me because I’m human and I’m prideful. I want to do things and have things my way. I am thankful for a God who is patient, long-suffering and oh so loving toward me!

I’ve been on a journey of healthy eating for the last 6 months. I have learned a dependence on God that I had not ever known before. The Lord revealed to me that I was addicted to sugar, using it like a drug when things became stressful or sad or overwhelming or anger-inducing or… you get the idea. I also used it to celebrate happy occasions, making it through the day with my boys, when I lost a little weight. Yes, seriously, when I lost weight! I can be so foolish! Now there isn’t anything wrong with eating food at a celebration, but when the food becomes the center of my attention, then it becomes and problem…and it became a big problem. I was convicted and I really felt it impressed upon my heart that the Lord was calling me to repent, turn away from my idol of food fixation, and turn to Him. This is where I started learning the fear of the Lord. Now, this isn’t a fear where I feel scared of God. I am a Christ- follower and have been forgiven of my sins because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. I am counted righteous because His righteousness is imputed to me. I don’t need to fear punishment. The fear of the Lord I’m talking about here is reverence, respect, awe.

First Samuel 12:24 says, “Only fear the LORD, and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you.”

The Lord has done so many great things for me. Even His conviction of my heart when I was in the midst of the sin of idolatry and food fixation was a great blessing! He drew me to Himself and helps me moment by moment as I seek to follow Him.

Psalm 115:14 is the verse I’ve been meditating on today. It says “May the Lord give you increase more and more, you and your children.” As I fear the Lord and serve Him in truth with all my heart (1 Sam. 12:24 above), the Lord will give me increase – and my children! I was thinking of the many blessings I would love to be increased for me and my children. As I walk this path of daily relying on God to help me choose good, healthy foods, the blessings I want to increase are a healthier body, a greater reliance on Him and a closer, deeper relationship with Him. And as I walk with Him and fear Him, these blessings are poured out on my children too! How awesome is that!

My children get to see their mom pouring her heart out to God asking for help to make healthy food choices (Do you ever pray out loud in front of your children about the things you are struggling with?? You should! It’s so good for them to see you relying on the Lord!) . Because of this I actually make healthier choices and cook nutritious meals for my family. My children get the blessing of good, healthy, yummy food to fill their bellies and make them grow stronger. They get the blessing of seeing their mom fully satisfied in Christ, not striving for satisfaction in food, or anything else for that matter. They get the blessing of learning healthy habits, not only physical habits, but spiritual ones too! My son loves to read the Bible verses on my white board each week and we get to talk about what they mean and how we can apply them in our family. See, blessing upon blessing, increasing over and over again!

I know that serving the Lord with your whole heart is hard. But it’s so worth it, friends! Blessings upon blessings will be poured out on you – and your children too! What mama doesn’t want that!?

Soooooo Close!

I weighed in at my Weight Watcher’s Meeting on Saturday morning, and I am .6 lbs. away from my goal! I know I will reach it this week! I just HAVE to!

I am sure the chili relleno I had for lunch and the brownie I had for dinner are not helping the situation, but I had a bad day, pain-wise, so I just went for it. I already threw away the rest of the brownies and made a big pitcher of green tea, so I’m back on track.

I have to tell you how sweet my sister is! When I reach my goal, she is throwing me a Weight Loss Party! Naturally I want to share the spotlight with my awesome husband. Together we have lost over 155lbs! (Alright, I admit, he is down almost 120 and I am down 26, so he is the biggest loser!) But, I can tell you that my struggle to lose my weight has been just as hard as it has been for Mike.

One misconception people have is that people with less weight to lose have it easier; I don’t think that is true, especially for people with disabilities and chronic pain. We feel just as bad about ourselves, sometimes we don’t want to leave the house, either. People who are very heavy have more pounds to lose, but there are people like me who do everything they can to lose the weight and it seems to take forever to shed even one pound. It has taken me over 2 years to lose the 26 pounds. It has taken Mike about 4 years to lose his 120 pounds. On average I lose about 1 pound a month; if you take the 120 pounds in 4 years for Mike, on average he loses 2.5 pounds a month – more than double!

I could not be prouder of Mike, or myself for that matter. We have both worked extremely hard to make healthier choices, move more, and take better care of ourselves, not only for eachother and our future children, but for ourselves too. I can’t wait to celebrate with friends and family!

Almost to Goal

I have struggled with my weight for over 10 years. I was never skinny, but I think I was about 13 when I realized that I was a little overweight. I have never been obese, thank goodness, but I have never been in the normal weight range either. I am only 5’2″ and at my highest I think I weighed about 170 lbs.

This was at a time when Mike and I were living with our Pastor and his wife due to Mike being out of work, and it was so much easier for us to go out and eat rather than me cook in an unfamilar kitchen. That is when my weight skyrocketed. When we moved into our own house, I started cooking really healthy meals and some of the weight came off. Then life happened, my back got really bad again and all exercise ceased. I gained almost all of the weight back.

 When I started Weight Watcher on Feb 19th, 2009 (for the….eh…5th time), I weighed 168.2. This is a picture of me when I was close to that weight. Look at my big Charlie Brown face!

It has been 17 month since I have been doing Weight Watchers. I have lost 15.4 lbs. I lose weight EXTREMELY slowly. I lose less than a pound a month. There have been so many times at my W.W. meeting when people are congratulated for losing 15 lbs. When asked how long it has taken them, most will say 2 or 3 months! I get so discouraged when I hear that. Don’t get me wrong, I am super excited for the people who have lost. I know how much of a struggle it can be.

I am only 2.8 lbs. away from my goal. This week I am going to give it all the gusto I have to lose half of what I have left. That will be 1.4 lbs. I will need to write down everything I eat, drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, and try to exercise (we will see how that goes! the last couple days have been killer with my back!) but I feel like I am focussed and excited to reach goal! I would appreciate your prayers and well wishes as I try to get these last couple of pounds off!!

I know it’s a little premature, but here is a picture of me at my current weight.

A Journey Rediscovered

This week I started on a new journey, well not exactly new, but rediscovered I guess you say. I went to the gym for the first time in about a year. Last year, I was working out 5-6 days a week, feeling great, thinking maybe the Lord was going to heal me. Then I got a little too adventurous and tried a Dancing With The Stars workout with my sister. I was cautious and we did the easiest routine with the least amount of hip movement. Still, it was too much. I didn’t feel bad while I was doing it, but the next morning, I knew I had really messed myself up. The consequences of that workout were severe pain, pain like I had 10 years ago, unmanageable pain. My sister would come on her lunch break and do my laundry and take out my trash. I was unable to do much of anything for myself. There were mornings Mike would have to help me get dressed. I went back to the Neurosurgeon who wanted to do a 3rd major surgery on my back, this time fusing it. I hired a team of housekeepers (my wonderful mom and sister!) who come once a month and do all the hard stuff for me. My husband and friends really kicked in and helped me keep my house in order. It became a really depressing time for me. I felt like I was losing myself all over again. I had learned to live with the pain, being cautious of my movements, knowing my limits, but with the new flare up, I felt like I was in high school again, hearing my life would never be the same.

The last year I have been concentrating on doing everything I can to heal as much as possible. I have lost some weight, 15 pounds to be exact. That may not seem like much, but for me it has been huge – you try losing 15 pounds and not even being able to walk to the bathroom on your own! It’s been really tough! We decided to put off another surgery until I can not take the pain anymore. There have been days I have been close to throwing in the towel. But the last couple of weeks, I have felt almost normal- not the average person’s normal, but my normal. Some pain, but mostly energy and happiness. So I took the plunge. I went to the gym – which I have been paying for every month, in hopes I would be able to use it again one day, and I did 10 minutes on the elliptical and 15 on the treadmill. Before the DWTS workout fiasco, I was up to doing 45-60 minutes 5 days a week! I was a little disappointed with the first workout, but also over joyed the next day when I woke up and felt ok. So I tried it again. Still ok. This morning  I am meeting my sister and brother in law at the gym (in 20 minutes and I’m still in my jammies! Yikes!  Better wrap this up!) So yes, this morning I am giving it another try. Still being cautious, but excited about the possibilities!

This Weekend

Well, this weekend was amazing! 

Mike was home. I weighed in at my Weight Watcher’s meeting and lost 2.6 pounds this week. Two of my besties came over to help me prep for my mom’s Birthday Brunch; we had such great fellowship. Mom’s Brunch went awesome! She looked happier than I have almost ever seen her. I cleaned out my car; and oh man, did it need it!! I went to church and since my pain was only at a 3 I wore heals and looked super cute in a new dress. Mike and I went to Claim Jumper for lunch to celebrate the semester of Seminary ending – and Mike getting all A’s! Came home with a terrible tummy ache. Ok, so that wasn’t great, but it made me relax and watch home decorating shows. Mike and I took a little trip to the bank to deposit our pay checks. This may not seem like such a wonderful thing, but spending ANY time with him, even going to the bank, is like Heaven for me. Came home and Mike helped me pick up the house.

I am so incredibly thankful to the Lord for this weekend! I never want to take for granted the little things that are easily overlooked, like time spent going to the bank with my hubby, or being able to wear cute shoes. My pain was so low this weekend, I almost felt normal. People at church even noticed a difference. Someone said I looked happier. Another told me he could see the relaxation in my face. Amazing.

This coming week, be on the look-out for those little blessings you may normally miss. Our God is faithful. He is in the business of miracles and healing. He loves us more than we could ever imagine.

I am praying for everyone who reads this. May God richly bless you as you seek HIM!