When My Heart is Breaking I Never Leave His Hands

I am writing this with such a heavy heart.

Tomorrow we are going to the memorial service for our old Pastor’s 23-year-old son who died unexpectedly last week.

 I found out today that a family friend’s one-and-a-half  year old son was diagnosed with Leukemia and started chemo today.

 I received a call from my dad this afternoon that his wife went to the Emergency room with severe flu-like symptoms. A CAT scan was done and she ended up having a ruptured appendix and went in for emergency surgery.

My friend at church told me about her friend who has such bad arthritis that she lost her balance and fell into the oven and burned her torso badly.

My best friend is walking in the Great Stride walk to fight Cystic Fibrosis for a one year old little girl named Ginger fighting this horrible disease.

Sometimes I lay in bed and cry to the Lord to come quickly. Some days I can’t stand the evil and suffering in this world; I feel like my heart is breaking. Tonight is one of those nights. I have a huge knot in my chest and all I would have to do is blink and the tears would pour down my face.

At times like these, I find no comfort in the sovereignty of God, that He is in control, because let’s face it, He allows things that cause pain and leave us feeling confused. I do take comfort in the fact that He loves me. He loves us. He is the “God of all comfort.” (2 Cor. 1:3-4)  Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)

There are times however, when it seems that no comfort can be found.  In Psalm 119:82, David even says, “My eyes fail from searching Your word, Saying, “When will You comfort me?”. What do we do when we have searched the Word of God for comfort, but we still feel crushed by the burden we carry? What happens when we have layed ourselves at the feet of Jesus and we still don’t find rest for our souls? We keep searching His Word. We keep crying out for comfort. We keep trusting Him.

Tonight I was feeling so sad, I was crying out to God, asking for answers. No answers came. But, a song came on the radio and His comfort washed over me. I don’t understand any better why God has allows the things I mentioned above, but I do understand the love of my sweet Savior who gives me the gift of a song, a glimmer of hope and the promise of eternity when all will be made right.

Please watch and listen to the video below. I am praying it ministers to you like it ministered to me.


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