Lately I have been struggling with Mike being gone so much at work and seminary. I understand that this is just a season in our life, and most days that understanding gets me through until the next time I get to see Mike. Lately though, and it could just be hormones, I miss him so much. The only time during the week we get to spend together is the drive to and from church on Wednesday night, and a little on Sunday afternoon. He leaves before I get up in the morning and he isn’t home until after I go to bed. It is taxing on our relationship, to say the least. I am so looking forward to the summer when he will be home with me.
When I am feeling lonely, the last thing I want to do is stay home by myself. I spend a lot of time at my mom’s house, visiting with her and my sister and brother or out shopping. I have been neglecting the house, letting the dishes and laundry pile up. Today I was reading Elizabeth George’s, A Woman After God’s Own Heart. I don’t think I have ever read the entire book all the way through, but I do pick it up time to time and read chapter or two.
Today’s chapter was called “A heart that makes a house a home.” Elizabeth tells this story – As the center of family life, the home ministers to our family far more that we might imagine. I remember a time when my husband made this fact very clear. He’d had “one of those days” that has stretched him to his absolute limit. A seminary student at the time, Jim had left the church parking lot at 5:00am to attend classes and deliver his senior sermon. After his commute back to the church through downtown Los Angeles traffic, he had officiated at a funeral and graveside service for a women who, having no one to help bury her husband, had called the church the day Jim was “pastor of the day”. All of this was topped off with a late meeting at church. I had the porch light on and was watching out the kitchen window as I waited for Jim. When he finally got to the front door, he didn’t walk in, – he sort of slumped in, half falling. On the way in my exhausted husband sighed, “Oh Liz, all day long I kept telling myself, ‘If I can just get home, everything thing will be all right.'”
Mike’s days aren’t filled with exactly the same things Elizabeth’s husband’s are filled with, but they are filled to the max, nonetheless. I feel like maybe because I have been holding on to some bitterness about Mike being gone so much that I have been neglecting my job as a wife to make our home a sanctuary for him. As I mulled this over in my head and heart, I felt really convicted. I apologized to Mike and I committed to do the best I can to make our home a place he where, If he can just get home, everything will be alright.”