A Journey Rediscovered

This week I started on a new journey, well not exactly new, but rediscovered I guess you say. I went to the gym for the first time in about a year. Last year, I was working out 5-6 days a week, feeling great, thinking maybe the Lord was going to heal me. Then I got a little too adventurous and tried a Dancing With The Stars workout with my sister. I was cautious and we did the easiest routine with the least amount of hip movement. Still, it was too much. I didn’t feel bad while I was doing it, but the next morning, I knew I had really messed myself up. The consequences of that workout were severe pain, pain like I had 10 years ago, unmanageable pain. My sister would come on her lunch break and do my laundry and take out my trash. I was unable to do much of anything for myself. There were mornings Mike would have to help me get dressed. I went back to the Neurosurgeon who wanted to do a 3rd major surgery on my back, this time fusing it. I hired a team of housekeepers (my wonderful mom and sister!) who come once a month and do all the hard stuff for me. My husband and friends really kicked in and helped me keep my house in order. It became a really depressing time for me. I felt like I was losing myself all over again. I had learned to live with the pain, being cautious of my movements, knowing my limits, but with the new flare up, I felt like I was in high school again, hearing my life would never be the same.

The last year I have been concentrating on doing everything I can to heal as much as possible. I have lost some weight, 15 pounds to be exact. That may not seem like much, but for me it has been huge – you try losing 15 pounds and not even being able to walk to the bathroom on your own! It’s been really tough! We decided to put off another surgery until I can not take the pain anymore. There have been days I have been close to throwing in the towel. But the last couple of weeks, I have felt almost normal- not the average person’s normal, but my normal. Some pain, but mostly energy and happiness. So I took the plunge. I went to the gym – which I have been paying for every month, in hopes I would be able to use it again one day, and I did 10 minutes on the elliptical and 15 on the treadmill. Before the DWTS workout fiasco, I was up to doing 45-60 minutes 5 days a week! I was a little disappointed with the first workout, but also over joyed the next day when I woke up and felt ok. So I tried it again. Still ok. This morning  I am meeting my sister and brother in law at the gym (in 20 minutes and I’m still in my jammies! Yikes!  Better wrap this up!) So yes, this morning I am giving it another try. Still being cautious, but excited about the possibilities!