Monthly Archives: July 2010

Fighting the Feelings

This will be a short post because my right wrist is in a brace and it takes me quite a while to type with just my left hand. Dr. said I should feel better in a few weeks; he thinks it might be tendonitis.

Today has been rough. My wrist has been bothering me for a little over a week so I went to see the doctor this morning. He sent me for x-rays and gave me a splint, and saw in my chart it was time for another tetanus shot. Oh joy!  The shot didn’t hurt too bad, but the ache in my arm is really bad. On top of all of that, this is day 3 on the Clomid this month and I am incredibly emotional. I have been crying all day. I am so tired of not feeling well. The constant pain in my back and legs makes me exhausted, I hurt so much from the fibro pain in my shoulders, and the wrist/tetanus shot stuff  is making me feel mad and sad and discouraged and irritated, and on top of all that we are running out of time to get pregnant, just 4 more tries with the Clomid and we are done. Seems like everyone is getting pregnant. It is really hard to hear about it.

I have been fighting my feelings all day. Seeking the Lord for comfort, but mostly just feeling bad. I debated even posting this because it is über negative, but I have realized even on hard, negative days, days when I am NOT ok with my health and infertility, it’s ok to feel that way. The Lord understand that I’m human and I get tired if everything. He still loves me and will be here to greet me when I wake up in the morning. So I will leave you with my favorite quote:

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”