Fighting the Feelings

This will be a short post because my right wrist is in a brace and it takes me quite a while to type with just my left hand. Dr. said I should feel better in a few weeks; he thinks it might be tendonitis.

Today has been rough. My wrist has been bothering me for a little over a week so I went to see the doctor this morning. He sent me for x-rays and gave me a splint, and saw in my chart it was time for another tetanus shot. Oh joy!  The shot didn’t hurt too bad, but the ache in my arm is really bad. On top of all of that, this is day 3 on the Clomid this month and I am incredibly emotional. I have been crying all day. I am so tired of not feeling well. The constant pain in my back and legs makes me exhausted, I hurt so much from the fibro pain in my shoulders, and the wrist/tetanus shot stuff  is making me feel mad and sad and discouraged and irritated, and on top of all that we are running out of time to get pregnant, just 4 more tries with the Clomid and we are done. Seems like everyone is getting pregnant. It is really hard to hear about it.

I have been fighting my feelings all day. Seeking the Lord for comfort, but mostly just feeling bad. I debated even posting this because it is über negative, but I have realized even on hard, negative days, days when I am NOT ok with my health and infertility, it’s ok to feel that way. The Lord understand that I’m human and I get tired if everything. He still loves me and will be here to greet me when I wake up in the morning. So I will leave you with my favorite quote:

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

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4 thoughts on “Fighting the Feelings

  1. I am praying for you Stacy, I know there are no words that can ease your pain – so I will just say that I love you so much and, like your mom, wish that I could take this all away from you. Love, aunt karen

  2. Praying for you Stacy. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Even on your hard to deal with days. We all have them and some worse than others( which you Stacy) have experienced quite of few of those days. It’s so hard to watch someone we love hurt so much. If I had the power I would fix it all for you. Praying for you and again, thank you for sharing with us. I love you. Aunt Diane

  3. Hi Stacy, I will help pray you through and past your pain, and pray that the Lord will ease your anxiety over the Clomid treatment, and that you and Mike will have a baby in His good timing. As long as all possible causes for infertility have been explored and treated, you are at a point of pure trust, like I am with my husband’s Alzheimer’s, which gets a little worse daily. Like you, remedies are being tried, but healing does not seem to be happening for Steve. I find that each day, hope, refreshment and fresh energy come through the Word to get me back to a place of joy and trust when circumstances are absolutely opposite.

    I love that we trust a loving, covering God!!

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