Yesterday started really wonderfully. Mike and I got to sleep in a bit because it was a holiday and I had an appointment at 11:15am to have my ultrasound. I have been looking forward to seeing Samuel for a few weeks! My mom and sister were meeting us there, so it was a family affair! We went outside to leave for the appointment and our garage door was open. Mike was doing yard work the evening before, but before he could finish, it got dark, so he put everything into the garage, closed the door and came in for dinner. He remembers closing the door and watching it go down. Our garage door can be temperamental, so we make sure we watch it go all the way down. I asked Mike if there was anything missing. He walked through the garage and saw that the lawn mover his mom and dad just bought him was gone. It was so hard to watch the emotions run across Mike’s face. I could see anger, disappointment, helplessness. Mostly what I felt was fear. Samuel’s bedroom is right off the garage door down our hallway. I just kept thinking about how someone was in our home – it may have been just the garage, but it was WAY too close for comfort. We didn’t have much time to contemplate everything because we had to get to my appointment. On our way to the appointment, I realized I didn’t see his weed whacker in the garage either when we looked really quickly. Our garage is jammed packed with sofas, tables, boxes of lots of stuff because we have been planning a yard sale for a few months and have been collecting items from friends and family. It’s hard to say if anything else it missing. We didn’t really catalog everything, you know?
Mike called to file a police report and although the cop was nice who took the report, he pretty much said it was Mike’s fault for leaving the garage open. Mike assured him that the garage was closed, but since there was no sign of forced entry, the cop kept telling Mike that he needs to remember to close the garage door. It makes me angry that when you get robbed, somehow it is your fault for not safe-guarding yourself enough. After Mike finished the report, the last thing the cop said (with a chuckle) was, “Make sure you close the garage door from now on.” The same thing happened to Mike’s parents’ neighbor. His car window was smashed out and his stereo was stolen, right in front of his house. The cop reamed him for parking on the street. He said, “If your garage wasn’t so full of *crud*, then you could have parked in your garage and this never would have happened.” Of course it was not the actual criminal’s fault. It was the poor guy who parked in front of his house. Grrr….That makes me so mad.
After filing the report, Mike and I headed to Target to get some paper plates, paper towels, and a few other things. Unfortunately, those other things were really heavy. Cat litter, cat food, a case of water, diet Pepsi. This meant that
Mike could not push me in my wheel chair and push a cart I would not let Mike push me in my wheel chair and push the cart. That is much more embarrassing than me using the motorized cart. So off we went, with me in the motorized cart and Mike pushing a regular cart. We had made it about half way through our shopping list when a lady cut me off with her cart and I was not able to take a turn sharp enough. I ran into a shelf going full speed. It would have been funny had I not hurt my back really badly. It honestly felt like a car accident. I did my best not to cry in Target, but I could feel the left side of my back start to ache. We got the rest of our items and Mike got me home and got some ice on my back.
Needless to say, last night I was a mess. Between the burglary, the feeling of being violated, fearing for Samuel in his new room, the cart crash and trying to find a new washing machine, I felt extremely overwhelmed. All day I kept praying and telling the Lord that I knew that I needed to trust Him, but also telling Him that what I was feeling was overwhelming me. I kept praying, but still felt anxious and stressed. Mike sat down with me and prayed with me. Unfortunately, the tears would not let up. I cried for a good couple of hours, then Mike made me some chocolate chip pancakes. I still felt overwhelmed, but the pancakes helped. lol.
We are trusting the Lord to provide for our financial needs. I can not go to a laundry mat by myself. The laundry is too heavy for me to carry with my back being as bad as it is. We need a washer. Eventually the lawn mower will be replaced, perhaps with the garage sale money we earn this coming weekend. It is a little humorous this morning to look in the back yard and see half the lawn mowed. As far as Samuel being safe, I will be calling our alarm company to get more sensors put up, so the garage will be protected too. Samuel is in the Lord’s hands, no matter what anyway. My back may be a mess this morning, but I am praying it eases up as the day goes on.
This verse really ministered to me this morning- ” But I will sing of Your power; Yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy in the morning; For You have been my defense and refuge in the day of my trouble.” Psalm 59:16. I find that no matter how bleak things may look (or feel) when I go to bed, the Lord provides a clarity and hope when I rise in the morning. Thank you Lord for new perspective and feelings of refreshment instead of exhaustion!