I have decided to fast make up for 40 days.
A few days ago I went to Target with my mom and Samuel, and I didn’t get a chance to put on make up before I left the house, and of course, like every time I leave the house without make up, I saw some people that I knew. Not just once, but twice while we were shopping. And I found myself feeling extremely embarrassed and not wanting to talk to them. We did stop and talk, but the whole time I was thinking, “They probably think I’m such a slob”, “Ugh! That stupid pimple on my chin is huge, I bet they can’t stop staring at it!”, “Why didn’t I just put on some foundation before I left??” I honestly can’t remember what we even talked about; I was so preoccupied with my naked face.
I realized this is a problem. A person should be able to have a conversation, naked-faced or not, and be able to engage.
I was also thinking about how when we start wearing make up we are told that it should be used to enhance our natural beauty. But, what if you have worn make up for so long, or you wear so much of it that you don’t feel you have any beauty at all without it. I feel that way now. Because of my pregnancy, I developed Melasma, or pregnancy mask, also known as raccoon eyes. I have dark spots on my upper cheeks and around my eyes and even a spot in the center of my forehead, and to me they are so noticeable…in reality, most people probably don’t have a clue they are there. I have looked in the mirror and cried because I see the acne, the scars from past acne and now that I’m closing in on 30, the fine lines around my eyes.
Again, this is a problem. I shouldn’t look in the mirror and cry. At some point, my vision has become skewed. I obviously don’t see what my husband sees (“You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7), and more importantly, what God sees (“Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:12-14).
I wear foundation, concealer, blush, eye shadow, eye liner, and brow liner everyday. It takes me at least 10 minutes (that’s when Samuel is up and pulling on my leg) and up to 30 minutes when I’m going on a hot date with the hubby.
Last night I came across this blog http://melissajenna.com/2012/06/27/fresh-faced-for-40-days-because-you-should-love-what-you-look-like-naked/ and BAM! It hit my like a ton of bricks! I’m not the only one who feels this way! Like Melissa mentioned, I am very vain. I don’t think I’m the most beautiful woman, but I think I’m pretty (with make up on, of course!) and I won’t pass up looking in a mirror!
I am looking forward to this journey…now that I’m really thinking about it, 40 days is like an eternity! I am interested to find out all the things that God will teach me during this time. I also want to take on this challenge just to see if I can do it, to see how other people will react when I take off my sunglasses, and to learn to love myself for what I look like naked (naked-faced, that it…my body is another story…the Lord is constantly working on this area of my life!). I’ll be blogging along the way, so stay tuned!
So here’s to day 1!