“Talking to God about your husband is an act of love. Prayer gives rise to love, love begets more prayer, which in turn gives rise to more love. Even if you praying is not born out of completely selfless motives, your motives will become more unselfish as prayer continues. You’ll find yourself more loving in your responses. You’ll notice that issues which formerly caused strife between you will no longer do that. You’ll be able to come to mutual agreements without a fight. This unity is vital.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 29)
I have truly found that as I pray for Mike it does give rise to love, my responses are more loving and things do tend to run more smoothly in our home. So why don’t I pray for Mike all the time, knowing the results? Well Stormie addresses this issue in the next section of this chapter, entitled, I Don’t Even Like Him- How Can I Pray For Him? Don’t get me wrong, most of the time I do like my husband, but there are times when he has hurt me with his words or making light of something that is very important to me and because I am feeling unloved, I don’t want to pray for him. I want to give him a piece of my mind.
“Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you. But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how to we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude? The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to ‘pretty it up’ for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which he can work.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Pages 30,31)
The above paragraph is refreshing to me! I’m not alone! Other wives get angry at their husbands too. Have you ever seen those couples who are so wonderfully in love that you can’t imagine them ever fighting? I have had people tell me that Mike and I look that way! Ha! We disagree sometimes, but we can also hide it really well when we are in public. I love that even when I am angry and hurt, I can go to the Lord with complete honesty. I can tell Him exactly how I feel and know that if I confess my sin, He is faithful and just to forgive me (1 Jn. 1:9). Can I get an Amen!?!?! I am so thankful for His grace in my life! He can now work on my heart and make me a more loving, forgiving wife.
I am ready for God to work in my heart and my marriage. I love the prayer Stormie writes in the middle of this section.
“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and my hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so. If there is something I’m not seeing that is adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray you would enable that change to happen As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it is justified, I want to do what YOU want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 31)
I don’t know about you, but I’m going to print out a copy of this prayer to keep it in my night stand so I can reference it when I’m feeling angry with Mike. Sometimes I can get so angry I don’t have the words to even pray. This will be helpful for me to have so I can read it and pray these wonderful, honest words!