I am excited to write about today’s topic! It is something I feel really passionately about. I believe it is extremely important for a wife to make her home a sanctuary for her husband and to take care of herself for him (and for her children!).
“I don’t care how liberated you are, when you are married there will always be two areas that will ultimately be your responsibility: home and children. Even if you are the only one working and your husband stays home to keep the house and tend the kids, you will still be expected to see that the heart of your home is a peaceful sanctuary- a source of contentment, acceptance, rejuvenation, nurturing, rest and love for your family. On top of this, you will also be expected to be sexually appealing, a good cook, a great mother, and physically, emotionally and spiritually fit. It’s overwhelming to most women, but the good news is that you don’t have to do it all on your own. You can seek God’s help.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 37)
Anyone else feel overwhelmed reading that? Oh, good! I’m not the only one! Being a wife (and mother) is a hard job! I’m so glad the Lord doesn’t ask us to do it in our own strength! Believe me, I’ve tried, with terrible results!
I just calculated how many hours my husband is gone out of the house each week, driving, working, and going to school. Seventy three. That’s a lot of hours away from home! When he comes home after working so hard all day (and evening!), I want him to feel safe, accepted, nurtured, and relaxed. He will not feel this way if he’s tripping over toys, or there are no clean underwear in his drawer, or there are dishes over flowing in the sink. He definitely isn’t going to think I’m a sexy mama if I smell because I haven’t showered that day or I’m in a bad mood because my day didn’t go smoothly. This does not mean that the house must be spotless. Nor does it mean I need to be wearing sexy lingerie when he walks in the door. It does mean that I need to be intention with my day. I need to shower and do the things I know are important to my husband. I asked him to give me three things that he really wants done when he comes home. He wants Samuel to be taken care of, the dishes to be done (dirty dishes gross him out) and he wants to have clean clothes for the next day. This can be a challenge with a toddler or when my Fibromyagia is flared up and its too painful to move off the couch. My husband is understanding, but I am going to do my absolute best to do those things that are important to him.
I also need to do those things with a good attitude. The wife sets the tone of her home. If I’m stress and in a bad mood when my husband gets home, then that is going to rub off of him, along with my toddler who mirrors my emotions. If I am in a good mood, and I greet him with a hug and kiss, then he is going to be in a good mood and feel relaxed. That makes everything run more smoothly!
I challenge you to ask your husband what things he would like done by the time he gets home. It may be wise to ask him to give you 3 things (or a number you feel is manageable!) he would like done. There are some days I bust my butt making sure the house is dusted or vacuumed and he doesn’t even notice! Keep the house generally tidy, but make sure those important things are done when he gets home! It will make a world of difference because he will feel relaxed and loved when he gets home.
Stormie addresses how we need to not only take care of our home, but how we need to take care of ourselves.
“Everything I’ve said about the home goes for your body, soul, and spirit as well. Some effort must be put into maintain them. I once heard a radio talk show where a woman called into complain to a popular psychologist that her husband told her he no longer found her attractive. The host said, ‘What are you doing to make yourself attractive?’ The caller had no answer. The point is, being attractive doesn’t just happen…We have to ask ourselves the same question. ‘What am I doing to make myself attractive for my husband? Do I keep myself clean and smelling good? Do I see that my internal self is cleansed and rejuvenated with regular exercise? Do I preserve my strength and vitality with a healthful diet? Do I dress attractively? And most important: Do I spend time along with God everyday? I guarantee that the more time you spend with the Lord, the more radiant you will become. ‘Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised’ (Proverbs 31:30). You can’t afford not to make this investment in yourself, your health, and your future. It’s not selfish not do it. It’s selfish NOT to do it. Pray for God to show you what steps to take and then enable you to take them. Invite the Hold spirit to dwell in you AND your home.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 39)
I believe that each of the things she mentioned will make you a better wife- keeping yourself clean and smelling good, regular exercise, healthy diet, dressing attractively (or how about getting dressed at all, fellow stay at home moms!), and most importantly spending time with the Lord. This list can be a little daunting, I know. Keeping up on the house and keeping up on ourselves can be exhausting. At least they are for me. I know I struggle with chronic fatigue and in constant pain, but I imagine even without those things, I am sure it’s difficult. And sometimes it’s hard for me because I don’t always get credit for the things I do. Sometimes my husband doesn’t notice, or he notices the things I didn’t get done. Again, this is a heart issue. I need to be working for the Lord. I need to be obedient to what He has called me to even if I don’t get the applause I want. And I need to do it with with HIS strength, not my own. Even if all the things don’t get done, or get done perfectly, if I’m working for the Lord and in His strength, I am not going to be a in a bad mood, or feel super overwhelmed. I’m still a work in progress and He is molding and shaping me everyday to be more like Him. I’m so thankful for his grace and leading!