“Temptation is everywhere today and we’re fools if we think we or our husbands can’t be lured by it in some form or another. The Bible says, “They eyes of man are never satisfied” (Proverbs 27:20). If that’s true, temptation is always a possibility and we must be ever watchful. Certain people are tempted by alcohol and drugs; others have a lust for money and power. Still others find food addictions, pornography, or sexual immorality to be irresistible lures The enemy of our souls knows where our flesh is the weakest and he will put temptations in our paths at our most vulnerable points. The question is not whether there will be temptations, it’s how we will handle them when they arise. I recommend praying through them. While prayer may not be able to stop a man from doing something he is determined to do, it CAN diminish the voices of temptation and strengthen his resolve. it can pave the way for him to make right choices.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 76)
After talking with my husband about this, I realized that the things men struggle with or consider temptations are very different than what I think women (or at least myself) struggle with. I think Lust tops the list for men. God created men to be visually stimulated and since so many women lack modesty, this can be a huge temptation for them. It doesn’t work that way for most women so it’s not something we think about much. For myself, I think about this often because I know my husband stands on stage every week leading worship at church and he has mentioned to me how distracting it is when there are women wearing inappropriate clothes to church.
I’ve heard so many women say that it’s not their problem and that guys just need to get over it. It doesn’t work that way!!! Our husbands have a choice as to whether they are going to give a woman a second look, but Satan (and their flesh) can plant thoughts in their minds with the innocent first look. My heart is so heavy for our husbands! I know my husband is faithful; he does everything he can to avoid temptation, but IT IS EVERYWHERE! We need to be in constant prayer for our husbands!
If you husband is struggling with a particular temptation and he tells you about it, please resist the urge to be angry at him. He obviously doesn’t want the temptation and he trusts you enough to tell you he is struggling. Become his partner in fighting it! Talk about it, pray about it together and let the Lord work to strengthen your husband to avoid the temptation! If he has fallen to the particular temptation, continue to pray. Stormie writes,
“I know several couples who have experienced adultery in their marriages, but because in each case there was a wife who was willing to pray and a husband open to allowing God to change and restore him, the marriages are still intact and successful today. Only prayer, a submitted heart, and the transforming power of the Hold Spirit can work those kinds of miracles.”(The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 75)
If you feel overwhelmed by your husband’s fall, you don’t have to pray alone. Please talk with your pastor’s wife or another godly woman. It may also be necessary for you and your husband to go to counseling together. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. The Lord can work miracles in your marriage. Keep praying!
Stormie also writes, “The best time to start praying about this is BEFORE anything happens. Jesus instructed his disciples to ‘pray that you may not ever into temptation’ (Luke 22:40). He said be watchful because ‘the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak’ (Mark 14:38). If your husband struggles in a certain area, pray that he will want to have godly prayer partners with whom he can share openly, be accountable, and receive prayer.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, pages 76,77)
This is awesome advice! Pray, pray, pray!
And because we can’t really ever pray for our husbands without examining ourselves also, I’d like to touch on a few things we should consider. While I was reading this chapter, I was reminded of the Esther study I went through a couple years ago by Beth Moore. There was a particular part of the study when she talks about mean girls. The video below is the segment I am talking about. Take a few minutes to watch it and then jump below for the rest of my thoughts.
Now, when I was younger, there was a time when I would have been considered a mean girl. I dressed in a way that would put men’s attention on me. I didn’t really care if the men had girlfriends or wives; I enjoyed the attention dressing immodestly brought me. I was longing to be loved and this was how I was able (in my mind) to attain it. This was a dark time in my life. And guess what? I was a Christian! I loved Jesus, but I was hurting and not trusting Him to be everything I needed to be loved.
Beth Moore is right when she says we know exactly what we are doing when we dress to get men’s attention. Knowing my husband struggles with this area (pretty much ALL men do, married or not), I have become passionate about modesty! When I put my clothes on in the morning (or afternoon! LOL…mom of a toddler here!), I look in the mirror and evaluate my outfit. I know I will be bending over to help my son about a million times a day. Do my breasts show when I bend over? I evaluate the fit of my clothes. Tight-fitting clothes, even when breasts are covered up, can trigger the same arousal in men. Is my skirt too short? If I feel particularly sexy in an outfit, I will change. I can save those outfits for dinner dates at home with my husband. Some woman may say I am over-reacting. I vehemently disagree! Our bodies are for our husbands alone. We all want to feel attractive, and that’s just fine, but when we know our outfit may cause a man other than our husband to possibly think sexual thoughts, that’s a big problem! Imagine if all women felt the way I (and so many of us modesty enthusiasts) felt. There would be a lot less tempted husbands out there.
Now, I realize sometimes it’s hard to find modest clothes that are still cute. Designers make clothes that will sell. Sex sells. But there are some great solutions for this problem. I love love love that longer shorts and capris are back in style now! I also love a good maxi dress. Cardigans are my favorite piece of clothing to keep my shoulders covered up. I also buy camis from a company called http://www.modesty4me.com. You can receive $3 off your first order with this discount code: SS445. Check them out!
Let’s continue to pray for our husbands and do everything we can to avoid being a temptations for other women’s husbands. Amen?