Category Archives: Samuel

Starting Again

So, it’s been a while. Ok, a long while. To be honest, I’m not really sure what happened. Life happened, I guess. Toddlerhood happened. My Etsy shop happened. I realized I’m only good at doing a couple things at once and my blog has been left on the back burner. And it makes me sad. I love writing and sharing my heart and I don’t really feel like myself if I’m not writing. So, I’d like to start blogging again more consistently. It’s going to be hard since life happens all. the. time. It’s funny that way.

 

My son will be three next month and as much fun as it is to be home with him everyday, he sucks all the life out of me. ūüôā I go and go and go all day and when I put him into bed and walk back down the hall, my body hurts so much that I either use my rice bags and apply heat to all my sore spots or I ice everything, or I take a pain pill and go to bed. My son gave up napping, and although he does “quiet time”, he is rarely ever quiet, so it’s difficult to concentrate on anything other than laundry or dishes or picking up his million toys. But I do want to write and I have to make a commitment to it.

 

I realized I never finished my series on The Power of A Praying Wife, by Stormie O’Martian, so that will be the first thing I will tackle. Thanks for being understanding and sticking with me! Stay tuned for a new post!

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Catching Up

I can’t believe it has been over a month since I last posted something. Pretty much everyday I have longed to sit at the computer and write, but life has gotten in the way. Samuel is napping and I need a shower, but it can wait. I NEED to write! Samuel has been sick, teething or fussy for the last month and this week was especially bad. He had his first fever and I was so scared. He is even such a good boy when he is sick, but he wanted to be held non-stop, most of the time with me standing. This is not conducive to my fibromyalgia or my DDD. There were hours when I would just cry and cry. The pain was so bad that it took my breath away at times. My mom and sister really helped me when I just couldn’t do it anymore. I am so blessed they live close and are always willing to help. Mike got up in the middle of the night to help me because I could not walk.

This month Samuel started taking steps on his own. It is so exciting, but so sad at the same time! My baby boy is not so much of a baby anymore. He doesn’t even look like a baby; we had to get him a hair cut because his hair was getting in his eyes, and BAM! Little boy Samuel appeared and baby Samuel is gone. As a mom, it is wonderful to see him grow, but also hard to know that time is passing so quickly and that I can never get those moments back. Samuel is also eating mostly table food; I still give him some baby food veggies so he has more variety. He really loves eating! He doesn’t really like peas (the skins make him gag), scrambled eggs or strawberries. He also doesn’t like apple juice! I thought all kids liked apple juice! I need to try another kind of juice I guess. He is down to drinking about 20-25 ounces of formula a day, down from his 35-40 ounces. I think he will transition to cow’s milk really easily, at least that is my prayer!

On a more personal note, I have been struggling with my place in ministry lately. I love being in the nursery with the babies, but I also love to sing on the worship team. ¬†It has proved to be difficult to be on the worship team having Samuel. My mom is willing (ok, more than willing!) to watch him on Thursday nights so I can go to rehearsal, but because Mike’s schedule is so packed, my brother has to drive me to the gas station by the freeway so Mike can pick me up on his way from work to rehearsal. Then I have to find a sitter for Samuel for Sunday morning¬†rehearsal¬†(thank you Karis!!). I have to make sure whoever watches Samuel is very aware of his peanut allergy and I spend so much time worrying about him. It all feels a little overwhelming. But, when I’m up there singing, I feel like it is exactly where I am supposed to be. I am praying about the whole situation. Maybe I need to wait until Samuel is a little older to go back to worship ministry….or maybe I can do nursery, minister to Samuel and do worship ministry. At this point, it’s still unclear.

I am living everyday clinging to the Lord, praying for strength to take care of myself, my wonderful husband and my sweet baby boy. I can’t do it on my own. I don’t even have the strength to try. I am so thankful for the friends and family who lift me up in prayer on a regular basis. They will never know how it blesses me! I think I may be able to get a shower in if I hurry! ūüôā Blessings to you all!

Oh and here are a few pics of the last month!

Samuel's first hair cut!

Treading Water

Have you ever had one of those days where you are treading water? With a baby in your arms? Worries on your shoulders? Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had to take Samuel to the doctor because his eczema is flared up really badly. His eyes are swollen and red and he keeps scratching at them. The skin above his ears must be bothering him too because he is scratching at them too; now the crease between his ears and head is cracked and bleeding. He would not sleep for more than 30 minutes. I was able to get a shower in during his first nap and I was able to dinner started during his second nap. He is not usually a needy baby, but yesterday he cried when I put him down to play. I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. ¬†The doctor just said it was his eczema. It will be worse when he is around cats (Saturday’s baby shower and grandma’s house on Tuesday) and when the weather changes, like if it’s cold in the morning, warm in the afternoon and then cold again at night. It’s the worst feeling to see your child hurting and not be able to do anything to help him. When he finally fell asleep last night, I jumped online to blog a little (my first moment to myself all day, yes I did shower, but that was only so the doctor didn’t think I was a total slob and I started dinner, but I would have been happy eating a granola bar so dinner was really for my wonderful husband – and he didn’t really like what I made. LOL) and as I was typing I started getting a stuffy nose. By the time Mike called letting me know he was on his way home from church, I was coughing and so stuffed up I was hard to understand. When he got home, we talked for a few minutes then he put me to bed and he washed all of Samuel’s bottles for me. (I love him more that you will ever know!)

All of this to say that yesterday was a difficult day, but you know what? I was in constant communication with the Lord. I thanked Him for Samuel, asked for His strength because I felt so weak, asked for wisdom since Samuel would not fall asleep, asked Him to make me into the mother He wanted me to be, praised Him for such a hardworking and loving husband, and prayed that sweet Samuel would sleep through the night (he’s going on 12 hours! Thank you Jesus!).

The Lord always gives us what we need when we are overwhelmed. Yesterday my mom went with my to the doctor, my sister sent me a text message, I had a nice long text conversation with my aunt, my husband washed Samuel’s bottles, my Facebook friends are praying for Samuel. I am so blessed in the midst of this storm we are in. I am so thankful for a God who cares about the little things in our lives. I know there are bigger, much more serious problems in this world, but my Savior loves me so much that my tiny problems do not go unnoticed. He loves me and strengthens me through them.

 

Birthmarks

Updated 7/29/14

I originally shared the picture and¬†post below when Samuel was 7 months old. He just turned 3 a couple months ago. It’s amazing what time and experience teaches you. I don’t hate my stretch marks. I don’t hate that my tummy is¬†a little saggy or that it will never look the way it did before I gave birth to my awesome little boy. ¬†I love my body now. In the last couple years, but especially the last couple months, I have had a realization. This is the only body I get. Most of the time it hurts all over, my legs are chubby and my tummy much softer than it was when I was in my 20s. But you know what, I respect my body now. I am blown away at the strength my body possesses. Those chubby legs carried my fussy baby around the house when I had to walk circle for hours in the middle of the night. My wider hips hold my toddler when he needs to be close to me, but I also need to get other things done. My squishy tummy provides entertainment for my son when he pokes it and says, “Daddy’s tummy is hard, Mommy’s tummy is squishy”, and then he throws his head back and laughs. See, my body bears the scars and marks and size of my past experiences. Some days I look at really fit, slim people and I want to look like that, but I know it will never happen. I am disabled and¬†this body won’t allow me to work out like a crazy person and get super toned, and I love food. ūüôā I am ok with that. For the first time in my adult life. I am ok with that. I love my body. I love the curves and the strength and even the squishy parts. Now ¬†this doesn’t mean I don’t want to be healthy, this means that I will be as healthy as possible- for me. No more self-loathing, no more tears when I look in the mirror. I see Mike’s smokin’ hot wife and Samuel’s amazing mommy. ¬†It’s taken a long time, but I am there and I couldn’t be happier. I wish the same for you, precious mommies!

 

Written 12/23/11:

I loath my stretch marks. I get disgusted when I look in the mirror and I see my saggy,¬†misshapen, striped tummy. This picture made me think…then cry. It was all worth it when I think of my baby boy.¬†I thought I would share it with you.Image

 

My! How You’ve Grown!

Our sweet Samuel is 6 months old today! I can’t believe how the time has flown by. I am amazed at how fast he has grown and how he has learned so many new things in the past 6 months. He isn’t the only one who has learned along the way. Mike and I have had to learn how to be parents, too! We have made so many mistakes already, but the grace of God and our love covers lots of them up! ūüôā

Here is a picture of Daddy and Samuel right after his birth.


Because my recovery was so rough, Mike pretty much took care of Samuel for the first month. I spent most days on strong pain medication, so there are so many thing that are kind of blurry. Thank God we took so many pictures that first month!

The day after Samuel turned 1 month old, he smiled at me! What a joy!  During this month Samuel also slept through the night for the first time. I remember trying to hurry out of bed in the morning to make sure he was still breathing because he had not been up in the middle of the night. Such a scary feeling! The sleeping through the night did not last long though. Every once in a while he will, but most nights he is up to eat at least once. Also during this month, we could really begin to see his little personality.

By the time Samuel was three months old, I was starting to feel better and felt more comfortable taking care of Samuel. All the post postpartum hormonal freak outs were pretty much gone and I started enjoying being a mommy! Mike was still home from work at this point, but his time off was coming to an end so we tried to cherish every moment together as a family! Samuel rolled from his tummy to his back and he mastered keeping his head up when he was on his tummy.

In September, Mike was back to work and I was spending my days with Samuel alone. It was a very lonely time for me because I was so used to Mike being with me, sharing in every milestone. But, I did get the hang of it by myself and had a blast filling my days with photo shoots of my little man! Plus, each moment Mike was home was even more special!

When Samuel was 4 months old, he found his feet! It was so fun to watch his try to get them in his mouth! We also spent a lot of time outside in the sunshine.  He also started to scoot, scoot, scoot!

When Samuel was 5  months old, he started getting very fussy and did not sleep well for about a week, so we took him to the doctor and she said he may have colic, or maybe he was teething or maybe he was hungry. She suggested we start him on rice cereal. Well, our little man LOVES to eat, and he ate his rice cereal like a champ! Two weeks later we started him on veggies. Again, he loved them! This is also the month when Samuel fell in love with his Jumpy Jumpy. I love to watch him use up all his energy jumping and playing!

This past week was hard on both of us because this was the first time we was sick. He had a terrible cough and a snotty nose and he was very restless and uncomfortable. This week we had extra snuggles and finally he is feeling better. In the last couple of days he has mastered rolling from back to tummy and is up on all fours! He will be crawling in no time! Look out world!! ¬†I have been so blessed these past 6 months. Samuel is the coolest kid ever! I can’t wait to see all the new things he learns and masters in the next six months. Time will fly by I am sure, so I plan on cherishing every moment!!

A Mother’s Love

I am so in love with my sweet Samuel!

Every morning when I go into his room, he smiles at me, I pick him up, hug him tight and tell him, “Mama loves you.” As we walks down the hall, through the living room and into the kitchen to make a “ba ba”, I pour out my thankfulness to the Lord for our miracle baby. Yes, every morning. Our life has changed so much that it is hard to remember what it was like before Samuel came to us; it is harder, more stressful, and more exhausting than I could have ever imagined, but it is also more wonderful, joyful, and fulfilling too. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, now I am certain this is what I was meant to be. I was telling Samuel this morning that he will never understand how much I love him until he has a child of his own, and even then, I think a mother’s love is different than a father’s love. I hope one day he fully understands. As a mother, I can now catch a glimpse of God’s love for me. When I think about it I get so overwhelmed.

Time Flies!!!

It has been a month since I last posted anything. I feel like I have so much to write about, but I am having a hard time collecting my thoughts and putting them into coherent sentences! I suppose it’s due to Mommy Brain.

Today Samuel is with his grandma Lauree because Mike had oral surgery this morning to take out his wisdom teeth. I’ve drugged Mike with his prescribed Vicodin so he should be asleep for a while. I thought I would write a little about this past month.

Samuel is growing up so fast! We went to the doctor yesterday for his 2 month appointment. He weighs 12 pounds, 6.5 ounces and is 23.25 inches long. He has great head control and is smiling and cooing like a champ! He unfortunately ahas excema and cradle cap pretty bad so the doctor prescribed a steroid cream we have to put on his dry spots and she wants us to start using head and shoulders shampoo to wash his hair. We are hoping it clears it up soon.

Samuel is sleeping really well now; usually about 5-6 hours, then he gets up and eats then goes back to sleep for another 2-3 hours. Unfortunately, he won’t fall asleep until about midnight. We are working on trying to get him sleepier earlier. We shall see!!

My favorite time with him is in the morning after he has slept really well and he’s all smiles. He and I get to hang out while daddy sleeps in (since I go to bed at 10pm and Mike stays up with him until he finally konks out). We sit and chat for a while then we have tummy time. Sometimes Samuel likes it, sometimes he hates it, but I still make him do it. The Doctor said he is doing great lifting his head while he is on his tummy, so it’s paying off!

Mike has been home all summer on vacation so it has been wonderful to have the time with him and Samuel. I love to watch them together. it just melts my heart! Mike is an amazing dad! Samuel and I are so blessed! Lauree has offered to watch Samuel every Tuesday so Mike and I can rest, run errands or just spend time together. It has been such a blessing! Mike and I have been spending a lot of time with the Lord praying and seeking wisdom about parenting and decisions for the future. Having a little time alone is so great for our marriage. When Mike and I are on the same page spiritually we automatically love each other more and are better parents.

I think that’s it for now, hopefully I will write soon! I tried putting some new picture on here, but I am on Mike’s iPad and can’t figure out how! Lol! Will post some new ones soon!

Samuel’s First Month

I can’t believe that it has been a whole month since we brought our little man home from the hospital!

First let me give you a quick overview of my labor and delivery and hospital stay. I was induced at 4 am on Sunday, May 22, my water broke a few hours later while I was getting my epidural…fast forward 27 hours….¬†I got an infection, ¬†I did not completely dilate, was very close to needing an emergency C-section, ¬†had to push Samuel out at 9 cm, they had to use the vacuum to help things along, I had a 3rd degree tear, both Samuel and I had to have IV antibiotics for 48 hours, Samuel was¬†jaundice¬†and needed to be under the photo light for 12 hours (worst 12 hours of Mommy and Daddy’s lives!) and then we were able to go home on Wednesday, May 25. We had to go back and forth to the doctor¬†¬†the rest of the week¬†to test Samuel’s biliruben levels and get his weight checked. By Monday, May 30th, we were able to stay home and ¬†rest and get used to the idea of our new life as a family of 3. Whew! Gotta say I am SO glad that is over!!

This month has completely flown by! I have been healing very slowly. For the first few weeks I was on pretty strong pain killers so details are a little foggy. That makes me sad, but I needed the pain medication so badly. Mike has been so awesome taking care of Samuel as I have been healing. Everyone who sees Mike with him says Mike is a natural. I wholeheartedly agree! When I watch Mike with Samuel my love for my husband just grows and grows!

Below are some pictures of Samuel’s first month. Enjoy!

Samuel's first day
Daddy and Samuel at the hospital
My poor baby under the photo light
One of our trips to the doctor's office
Mommy and Samuel
Grandma and Samuel - Snuggle Time!
Photo shoot with Kim Gustafson
Playtime with Kennedy and Callie - Samuel was not having it!
Snuggle time with Grandma Lauree
Wiggle Wiggle
Daddy with Samuel in his little Elvis pajamas ūüėČ
bath time!
love his little serious face!