Category Archives: Praying For My Husband

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Trials

“Everyone goes through hard times. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes our prayers help us to avoid them. Sometimes not. It’s the attitude we have when we go through them that matters the most. If we are fulled with anger and bitterness, or insist on complaining and blaming God, things tend to turn out badly. If we go through them with thankfulness and praise to God, He promises to bring good things despite them. He says to ‘count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience’ (James 1:2,3).” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 111)

 

If you ask my husband what trials he has gone through, he might mention a couple he’s had in his whole life. This is not because his life has been free from trials, but because he has such a great attitude when hard things come his way that they don’t even register as a blip on the trialometer (yes, I just made that up). He is a very go-with-the-flow kind of guy. He may complain of an inconvenience every once in a while, but not often at all.

A couple weeks ago at work, he started getting a migraine, which he gets kind of frequently, so he went out to his car to get his migraine medicine and as he was leaning into the passenger side to grab the box, a lady side swiped his car and her side mirror hit his driver’s side mirror and knocked the glass to the ground. She did pull over and stop, but didn’t have insurance. After dealing with the mirror and the migraine, he called me and said, “Babe, I’m having a hard day. I’m going to lay down in my classroom until I have to head over to do worship for youth group. Thank God I got into my car on the passenger’s side. She would have killed me if I was on the other side!” That was the extent of his complaining. I would have been a mess! A migraine and getting my car hit would have pushed my into a whineathon (Wow, I’m on a roll today with the made up words!) 

I prayed for my husband and he was able to do worship for youth group and the migraine went away for the most part. His attitude when trials come reminds me to count it all joy. He was so thankful for God’s protection (which I pray for often!) that he really didn’t get upset about the trial.

Now I do realize this was a little trial. We have not had to go through any major trials besides some of my medical problems and chronic pain, but I am sure that his attitude would be the same. I’d like to think that it’s all my prayers for his trials that make that true, but I think it’s just a gift God has given him. 

I think the fact that we have not gone through many big trials is, in part, because I cover my husband in prayer about all of the other things in this book- his work, his finances, his sexuality, his temptation, his mind. Sometimes trials just happen because we live in a fallen world with sinful people, but many times trials come because we bring them on ourselves because of the poor decisions we make or the company we associate with. I pray for my husband to have wisdom in all the areas in his life, especially all the things men tend to struggle with the most, like pride, sexual temptation, self reliance. Keep praying for your husband’s trials, but pray for all the other areas in his life too and you may not need to pray for his trials as much. 

 

I love what Stormie says about trials-

 

“Trials can be a purifying fire and a cleansing water. You don’t have to your husband to get burned or drowned; you want him to get refined and renewed.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 114)

 

We can play a big part in that! Keep praying for, supporting and encouraging your husbands!

 

 

The Power Of A Praying Wife -His Protection

“Our husbands are on the battlefield every day. There are dangers everywhere. Only God knows what traps the enemy has laid to bring accidents, diseases, evil , violence, and destruction into our lives. Few places are safe anymore, including your own home. But God has said that even though ‘The wicked watches the righteous, and seeks to slay him, the Lord will not leave him in his hand’ (Psalm 37:23,33). He promises that He will be ‘a shield to those who put their trust in Him’ (Proverbs 30:5). He can even be a shield to someone we pray about because of our faith.” (The Power of A Praying Wife, Page 107)

I pray for my husband’s protection every single day. Now this does not come from my holiness, but from my anxiety. I am constantly afraid that my husband is going to get into a car accident on his way home, or that someone is going to rob him at the bank while he deposits his checks after teaching music lessons at night. My anxiety about losing my husband used to be worse. When we were first married, if he was even 5 minutes late coming home from work my mind would start imagining the worse. By the time my poor husband walked through the door, I would be a mess, usually in tears and mad at him for not calling me to say he was going to be late. Most of the time it was traffic or a taking a phone call when he was sitting in the drive was when he got home that caused the delay. No car accident, no major head trauma, no gun shot wounds. Just life.

It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes the fear of losing him will creep up at night when I’m waiting for him to get home. His schedule can be a little irregular and he could be an hour earlier or later than I expect. He is usually so good to call and let me know what is going on, but sometimes it slips his mind. (I pray for the Lord to remind him to call me too!)

It’s funny that at this very moment, my husband just came into our room where I’m writing and says he’s going for a run to end his workout. It’s almost 9:30 pm. I still get a little anxious when I think about what could happen. But the Lord has been impressing on my heart to trust Him with my husband’s life. My husband also just said, “I’ll only be gone like six minutes. I’m going to leave my phone here.” The look on my face must have changed his mind because he grabbed his phone and smiled at me before he closed the door.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if God protected us from anything that could harm us?! I would never have to keep watching my clock to see when six minutes have passed!

But there are times when God doesn’t protect us from the evil around us. Bad things happen. I love what Stormie writes about this in this chapter.

“But accidents do happen, even to godly people and when they do they are sudden and unexpected. That’s why prayer for your husband’s protection needs to be frequent and ongoing. You never know when it might be needed in the battle field. And if something happens, you’ll have the comfort of knowing you’ve invited God’s presence and power into the midst of it.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 108)

That last sentence brings me such peace. When I read it I feel God’s peace wash over me and I feel calm. He is ultimately in control of my husbands safety and I have to trust Him. He is worthy of my trust.

 

 

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Health

“For years my husband cared little about exercise. I would give lectures and meaningful talks, leave magazine articles in his path, and plead and cry about how I didn’t want to be a widow, but it all fell on glazed eyes and deaf ears. Then one day I got the brilliant idea that if praying worked for other parts of his life, it might work for this, too. I decided to employ my ‘shut up and pray’ method and ask God to give him the desire to exercise regular. I prayed for a number of month without any results, but then one morning I heard an unfamiliar noise coming from another room. I followed the sound and much to my amazement, it was my husband on the treadmill. I didn’t say a word. He has been using the treadmill and lifting weights about three days a week ever since.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 103)

I could have written this passage. When my husband and I were first dating, he weighed 315 pounds. He lifted weights, but did no cardiovascular exercise and the years he spent in college eating out every day took its toll on his body. His weight gain started back in junior high and continued through college. Being overweight and picked on, he became the funny guy, always throwing out jokes before people had time to make fun of him. His sense of humor was one of the things that attracted me to him. I was also attracted to his frame. I love that he was big and made me feel safe when he held me or when we were out in public. There is something comforting when you are with the biggest guy in the room. 🙂

Mike and Stacy heavy 4 001

After we had dated for a while and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man, I started to pray about his weight and health. I looked down the road and imagined us having children and him not being able to play with them because of his weight. I imagined being widowed because he had a heart attack. We had a few conversations about his health and I assured him of my reasons for wanting him to lose the weight – it wasn’t that I was not attracted to him, it was that I was scared, scared of losing him. One day he decided he didn’t want to be fat anymore. I was so proud of him! When we got engaged he started losing some weight. He lost about 30 pounds before we tied the knot. His suit was way too big on him on our wedding day; I had to pin it back with a chip clip for pictures.

mike weight loss wedding

After we got married, he continued to lose weight. Over the course of about four years, he lost a total of 130 pounds! It really helped that I try to cook as healthful as possible and encourage him to keep at it. In the last month or so he has started running at least 3 days a week and is in the best shape of his life. He started running to support me since I took a leap of faith and am training to run a 5K. He knows the difficult task I’ve set before myself (If you are not familiar with my story or disability, check out the About Me page!) and he has stepped up and supported my running by jumping in with me! I love to watch him with our son; sometimes it make me emotional remembering my fears about him not being able to keep up with our future children.

IMG_4865[1]   IMG_4020[1]   IMG_4748[1]

I do realize that this may not be the case with your husband. Your husband may not be interested in losing weight or taking care of himself. Don’t give up! Keep praying and try to include him (and your whole family!!) in activities that promote good health. Take family walks, challenge him to a game of horse on the basket ball court at the park, join a gym together and ask him to help you tone up. He will probably be excited to be able to show off his big muscles and his knowledge of weight lifting 😉 (Ask him to walk with you on the treadmills while you are there!) Have him help you pick out healthy recipes you can make together or tweak your existing ones to make them healthier. But above all, PRAY! Another point I want to touch on, one that Stormie also mentions in this chapter is health that is out of our control. My husband has tinnitus (Tinnitus is the medical term for “hearing” noises in your ears when there is no outside source of the sounds. The noises you hear can be soft or loud. They may sound like ringing, blowing, roaring, buzzing, hissing, humming, whistling, or sizzling.) This creates big problem for my husband since he is a musician. He also has Tendinitis in his wrists (Tendinitis is inflammation, irritation, and swelling of a tendon, which is the fibrous structure that joins muscle to bone.) and it causes so much pain sometimes that my husband can’t use his hands. I pray that the Lord takes away these diseases, takes away the pain and discomfort from my sweet man, but as Stormie writes,

“Remember, however, that even though we pray and have faith, the outcome and timing are God’s decisions. He says there is ‘a time to heal’ (Ecclesiastes 3:3). If you pray for healing and nothing happens, don’t beat yourself up for it. God sometimes uses a man’s physical ailments to get his attention so He can speak to him. Keep praying, but know God’s decision is the bottom line.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Pages 104,105)

I understand how hard it can be to pray for healing and have God answer with a response we don’t want. I’ve been praying for healing for myself for over 11 years. God’s answer has always been “no” and it’s so difficult at times. I write this because it’s easy to give advice about praying for healing when it doesn’t intimately affect you, so I want you to know that what I write comes from a place of quiet desperation for healing, for both myself and my husband. We do our very best to take care of our bodies because we know so much of our health is due to living in a fallen world and I feel that I am responsible to doing everything I can to live as healthy as possible and keep on keepin’ on when God’s answer for healing is “no”. I am praying the Lord gives you comfort in those times when you so desperately want good health for your husbands and it just isn’t happening whether it’s due to your husband’s choices or just living in this world where sickness and disease is a sad reality. Keep praying, keep seeking the Lord, keep keepin’ on. 🙂

“Lord, I pray for Your healing touch on (husband’s name) Make every part of his body function the way you designed it to. Wherever there is anything out of balance, set it in perfect working order. Heal him of any disease, illness, injury, infirmity, or weakness. Strengthen his body to successfully endure his workload, and when he sleeps may he awake completely rested, rejuvenated and refreshed. give him a strong heart that doesn’t fail. I don’t want him to have heart failure at any time. I pray that he will have the desire to take care of his body, to eat the kind of food that brings health, to get regular exercise and avoid anything that would be harmful to him. Help him to understand that his body is Your temple and he should care for it as such (1 Corinthians 3:16). I pray that he will present it as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to You (Romans 12:1).” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, pages 104,105)

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Choices

My husband has the final decision in our home. He listens to my input, but we believe that as head of our home, his decision is the final one. Sometimes I struggle with that, especially if I don’t agree with his decision. The day to day decisions he pretty much leaves up to me since I’m home and it’s my responsibility to keep life running smoothly, but when there are big decisions to make, ones that can alter our life drastically, such as a new job, making big purchases, it’s his final decision. Until now, praying for him and reading through this chapter, I have never realized the weight of responsibility he has. He needs my prayer; and with sadness I admit I have not prayed for him enough in this area.
Here are a few reasons why…

Firstly, my husband is extremely indecisive. The downside to this is that he takes so long to make choices, driving me crazy (me, being extremely decisive), but the upside is that there is wisdom in weighing all the options and giving The Lord time to work in a situation. Patience is not a gift of mine, but God has given me a very patient man who continually shows me why it’s better to wait on things for a while.

Secondly, the past few months have left me drained. My husband made the choice to finish school this semester, meaning he took 3 classes at one time, on top of his 3 jobs. He was rarely home, and while I understood his reasoning (get it over with as soon as possible so he could be home more), most days it didn’t make it any easier on me. Living in chronic pain, taking care of a two year old and our home by myself because my husband was gone all the time left me with more than a little resentment at times. I’m not proud of this, and I was aware of my sin, laying it before The Lord constantly, but it changed the way I prayed for my husband. I prayed that he would be safe driving and that God would give him strength to get everything done. My prayers were generic and most times not heartfelt. I should have been praying that God would give him wisdom about how to get everything done, that God would direct him and help him to make good choices while he planned out his super packed days. Even in the last week or so since my husband has graduated from school, The Lord has brought healing, in my heart and in our relationship. For the last few months, we were on autopilot. Everything got done, but I wonder if they would have gotten done easier or better if I had prayed more for him. Lord, forgive me.

I know this post doesn’t really go along with or have any content from the chapter, but I’ve been MIA for quite a while and thought I should let you know why. I would like to end with the prayer Stormie prays at the end of this chapter though.

“Lord, full my husband with the fear of The Lord and give him wisdom for every decision he makes. May he reverence You and Your ways and seek to know Your truth. Give him discernment to make decisions based on your revelation. Help him to make godly choices as keep him from doing anything foolish. Take foolishness out of his heart and enable him to quickly recognize error and avoid it. Open his eyes to clearly see the consequences of any anticipated behavior….” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 101)

Lord, continue to work in my heart and help me to support my husband and his decisions as he seeks wholeheartedly after You!

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Purpose

The timing of me reading this chapter is perfect (Isn’t God wonderful about things like that?!) because in just a couple hours, my husband and I will be meeting with our pastor about my husband’s role at the church. Currently he is the Worship Pastor. He was ordained a few weeks ago and there have been talks about him moving into more of an associate pastor role, still overseeing worship ministry. We have been praying about this role change and have been blessed by the clarity God has brought to us. You see, we know there is a call on my husband’s life to full time pastoral ministry. But what that looks like exactly, we are not sure. Right now, he is a music educator, both at a school (teaching k-12th grade music, including drum line, recorders, elementary band, and jazz band) and teaching private music lessons, a Bible teacher, a PE teacher, and a Children’s Pastor, teaching chapels at his school. Plus, he is a Worship Pastor and is finishing up his seminary degree. He is stretched thinner than thin and he is worn out. I can sense an unrest starting to rumble in my husband. He believes he is where he needs to be at this point, but cost of living is going up and his salary isn’t. We can’t do this for much longer. The Lord has shown us that. Now…what to do about it? We don’t have any idea. We are waiting on the Lord to move and being faithful in the work he has called us to do.

Stormie writes,

 

“If I’ve learned anything being married two and a half decades, it’s that a wife can’t pressure her husband to BE something, but she can pray for him to become it.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 93)

 

I’ve pressured my husband about finding a new job, just one job, a better paying job, a more fulfilling job, the job I think he should have. How do you think that went over? Yeah, you can imagine. I am ashamed when I think back on some of the conversations we have had. I was trying to help, trying to show him how much I thought he was worth, trying to encourage him to find his purpose. He left the conversation feeling defeated, worthless and angry. Definitely not the results I had hoped for. I’ve had to ask for the Lord’s and my husband’s forgiveness on more than one occasion.

 

“How do you feel about what your husband is doing with his life? Do you lack peace about it because he is on a path that is unfulfilling, beating him down, or going nowhere? If so, then pray, ‘Lord, take my husband from this place, reveal to him what You’ve called him to be, and open doors to what he should be doing.'” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 94)

 

I’ve learned I just need to pray. He knows how I feel. I don’t need to do the woman thing and tell him a million times. He’s not stupid; in fact he’s brilliant, and he knows he’s worn out. He probably feels the same way I do, but he has chosen to lay it all at the cross and let the Lord work in His timing. We are praying together now that God would reveal His purpose for my husband’s life. Things are so much better when I keep my mouth shut regarding this issue. We are still in the financial situation we were in before, but there is peace in our home. Before, there were financial struggles and strife in our home. Not fun at all. I love the prayer above. I will be incorporating it into my prayer time for my husband.

I also thought this paragraph was great.

 

“Whatever God has called your husband to be or do, He has also called you to support it and be part of it, if in no other way than to pray, encourage, and help in whatever way possible. For some women that means creating a good home, raising the children  being there for him, and offering prayer and support. Other women may take and active role by becoming a partner or helper. In either case, God does not ask you to deny your own personhood in the process. God has called YOU to something, too. But it will fit in with whatever your husband’s calling is, it will not be in conflict with it. God is not the author of confusion, strife, or unworkable situations. He is a God of perfect timing.  There is a time for everything, the Bible says. The timing to do what God has EACH of you to do will work out perfectly, if it’s submitted to God.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 95)

 

As we pray for our husband’s purpose, let us also pray how our purpose fits perfectly with his. For me, creating a good home and raising our son and being there for my husband is my purpose; when our son is older I will be able to play a more active role in my husband’s purpose of ministry.

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

 

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Fears

“There are many things in the world to be afraid of; only a fool would say otherwise. But when fear seizes us, tormenting and ruling our lives, we have become captive to it. Men are often susceptible to that because without even realizing it, they get attacked by the “what if’s.

“What if I can’t make enough money?”

“What if something happened to my wife and children?”

“What if I get a terrible disease?”

“What if my business fails?”

“What if I can’t be a good father?”

“What if I become disabled and can’t work to support my family?”

“What if i’m over powered or threatened?”

“What if I can’t perform sexually?”

“What if no one respects me?”

“What if I’m in an accident?”

“What if I die?”

Fear can take hold of a man (Psalm 48:6) and cause his life to be wasted (Psalm 78:33). If he is “seized with great fear” (Luke 8:37), it can keep him from all God has for him.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 87)

 

When I first read through this chapter, it didn’t sound much like my husband at all; it sounded a lot like me. Besides just a few things on the list above, I’ve said or thought all of those things. I am currently working through some things right now, with the help of my husband about some of my fears. The Sandy Hook shooting in Newtown, Conneticut really affected me. I have been fighting the fear that my son or husband will be taken from me, or that I will be killed and leave them on their own. Even walking through the mall the other day, I was convinced that someone with a gun would start shooting. I even talked to my husband about what I should do if I was walking with our son and that happened. Where would be the best place to hide? Irrational? Maybe. Real gripping fear? Absolutely. It doesn’t help that the area we live in has been getting worse, more reports of shootings and murder and very scary stuff.

I have been praying that the Lord would help me trust Him more; that even if some of my fears would come true, I would know that He was working those things out for His ultimate good. Sometimes  Most of the time it’s not easy. I still get moments of paralyzing fear, times I don’t want to leave the house. I am a work in progress. The Lord is continually comforting me and assuring me that He is in control and He loves me.

But back to our husbands! Like I said, when I read the chapter, it was difficult for me to think of my husband. He isn’t usually a fearful man and he trusts the Lord more than anyone I know. I took a step back and started to pray that the Lord would help me to write this post. To be honest, ALL I could think about were my fears.

Stormie tells the story about how she and her husband went on an overseas trip and not even half way through, her husband felt like he needed to go home right away.  He was gripped with fear.

 

“What exactly are you afraid of?” I questioned him.

“I’m not sure,” he answered.

 

Now, this sounds familiar. When I really started to think of my husband and how he deal with conflict, or new things, this is usually how our conversation goes. When I’m afraid of something and my husband asks me about it, everything comes out like word vomit. I can go on and on about what I’m afraid of and why I’m afraid. My husband is not like that. Most of the time he can’t put his finger on what he’s afraid of and even if he can identify it, he can’t express it very well in words. I’m wondering if most husbands are this way.

When I can’t tell my husband is fearful or nervous, I make sure I’m praying for him. I need to be more diligent about praying for him about fear BEFORE he is fearful! I’m going to send him some text messages today with verses about fear and trusting the Lord. It may be exactly what he needs.

 

“I pray in the name of Jesus that fear will not rule over my husband. Instead, may Your Word penetrate every fiber of his being, convincing him that Your love for him is far greater than anything he faces and nothing can separate him from it.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 89)

 

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Mind

“I used to attribute my husband’s mind struggles to his musical genius. You know the artistic temperament – bright and brilliant on one hand, dark and moody on the other. When he would get down, the words in his mind told him he was going to fail, be worth nothing, that he was incapable of doing what he needed to do. It had no basis in reality because he had those kinds of thoughts even in the midst of his most productive and successful work. I didn’t realize for a long time that the mind battles he endured did not have to be written off as ‘just the way he is.’ Nor did he have to fight them alone. If he and I were one, than an assault on his mind was an assault on me as well. I could stand with him in the battle by declaring, ‘This is not God speaking into my husband’s life, it’s the voice of the enemy. I’m not going to stand by and watch deadly games being played with his mind and our lives.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 81)

 

This paragraph hit me like a ton of bricks! I could have been writing the beginning part about my husband. See, Stormie and I have that in common. Our husbands are successful musicians, and although my husband is a happy, joyful person, Satan uses his artistic, analytic mind to plant seeds of doubt. The second part of the above paragraph brought me a hope that I didn’t know I had. I have tried to pull my husband out of his funk myself and it just doesn’t work; he usually just retreats more, leaving me feeling helpless and him in even more despair. I can fight this battle with him! That is great news!

Second Chronicles 32:7-8 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or dismayed before the king of Assyria and all the horde that is with him, for there are more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God, to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people took confidence from the words of Hezekiah king of Judah.

Satan is real and really good at what he does, but we don’t need to fear, because the Lord is with us and He never leaves us to battle alone!

 

“Even the strongest man can get exhausted, overwhelmed, burdened, desperate, or caught up in things that keep him away from the presence of God. He doesn’t always see the traps of an enemy who wants him to believe that what he faces is insurmountable. His mind fills with words like ‘hopeless,’ ‘no good,’ ‘failure,’ ‘impossible,’ ‘it’s over,’ and ‘why try?’ A wife can pray that he husband will discern the lies and hear instead words like ‘hope,’ ‘prosperity,’ ‘possibility,’ ‘success,’ and ‘new beginning’ and know that they’re from God.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 82) 

 

Stormie writes that there are two powerful weapons against the attack of lies upon our husbands’ minds. They are the Word of God and praise.

Hebrews 4:12 says, ” The Word of God is living and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of the soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thought and intents of the heart.” What an awesome verse! If you don’t already have it memorized, I encourage you to meditate on it this week and memorize it!

Second Timothy 1:7 says ” God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

Stormie writes,

 

“By speaking God’s Word, you can reveal wrong thinking and it will lose its power. If your husband won’t do it for himself, you can speak the Word of God over him, either in his presence or alone in prayer, and see positive results…..Praise is also a powerful tool because God’s presence comes to dwell in our midst when we worship Him. In His presence we find healing and transformation for our lives……You don’t want futile thoughts to darken your husband’s heart. Speak praise to God for your husband’s sound mind, and he’ll be able to think more clearly about what he will and will not allow into it.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 83)

 

This chapter has been a great encouragement to me and I’m excited to start praying for my husband’s mind! I’ll leave you with these verses:

Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but might in Gd for pulling down stronghold, casting down argument and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

 

 

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Temptations

“Temptation is everywhere today and we’re fools if we think we or our husbands can’t be lured by it in some form or another. The Bible says, “They eyes of man are never satisfied” (Proverbs 27:20). If that’s true, temptation is always a possibility and we must be ever watchful. Certain people are tempted by alcohol and drugs; others have a lust for money and power. Still others find food addictions, pornography, or sexual immorality to be irresistible lures  The enemy of our souls knows where our flesh is the weakest and he will put temptations in our paths at our most vulnerable points. The question is not whether there will be temptations, it’s how we will handle them when they arise. I recommend praying through them. While prayer may not be able to stop a man from doing something he is determined to do, it CAN diminish the voices of temptation and strengthen his resolve. it can pave the way for him to make right choices.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 76)

 

After talking with my husband about this, I realized that the things men struggle with or consider temptations are very different than what I think women (or at least myself) struggle with. I think Lust tops the list for men. God created men to be visually stimulated and since so many women lack modesty, this can be a huge temptation for them. It doesn’t work that way for most women so it’s not something we think about much. For myself, I think about this often because I know my husband stands on stage every week leading worship at church and he has mentioned to me how distracting it is when there are women wearing inappropriate clothes to church.

I’ve heard so many women say that it’s not their problem and that guys just need to get over it. It doesn’t work that way!!! Our husbands have a choice as to whether they are going to give a woman a second look, but  Satan (and their flesh) can plant thoughts in their minds with the innocent first look. My heart is so heavy for our husbands! I know my husband is faithful; he does everything he can to avoid temptation, but IT IS EVERYWHERE! We need to be in constant prayer for our husbands!

If you husband is struggling with a particular temptation and he tells you about it, please resist the urge to be angry at him. He obviously doesn’t want the temptation and he trusts you enough to tell you he is struggling. Become his partner in fighting it! Talk about it, pray about it together and let the Lord work to strengthen your husband to avoid the temptation! If he has fallen to the particular temptation, continue to pray. Stormie writes,

 

“I know several couples who have experienced adultery in their marriages, but because in each case there was a wife who was willing to pray and a husband open to allowing God to change and restore him, the marriages are still intact and successful today. Only prayer, a submitted heart, and the transforming power of the Hold Spirit can work those kinds of miracles.”(The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 75)

 

If you feel overwhelmed by your husband’s fall, you don’t have to pray alone. Please talk with your pastor’s wife or another godly woman. It may also be necessary for you and your husband to go to counseling together. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. The Lord can work miracles in your marriage. Keep praying!

 

Stormie also writes, “The best time to start praying about this is BEFORE anything happens. Jesus instructed his disciples to ‘pray that you may not ever into temptation’ (Luke 22:40). He said be watchful because ‘the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak’ (Mark 14:38). If your husband struggles in a certain area, pray that he will want to have godly prayer partners with whom he can share openly, be accountable, and receive prayer.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, pages 76,77)

 

This is awesome advice! Pray, pray, pray!

And because we can’t really ever pray for our husbands without examining ourselves also, I’d like to touch on a few things we should consider. While I was reading this chapter, I was reminded of the Esther study I went through a couple years ago by Beth Moore. There was a particular part of the study when she talks about mean girls. The video below is the segment I am talking about. Take a few minutes to watch it and then jump below for the rest of my thoughts.

Now, when I was younger, there was a time when I would have been considered a mean girl. I dressed in a way that would put men’s attention on me. I didn’t really care if the men had girlfriends or wives; I enjoyed the attention dressing immodestly brought me. I was longing to be loved and this was how I was able (in my mind) to attain it. This was a dark time in my life. And guess what? I was a Christian! I loved Jesus, but I was hurting and not trusting Him to be everything I needed to be loved.

Beth Moore is right when she says we know exactly what we are doing when we dress to get men’s attention. Knowing my husband struggles with this area (pretty much ALL men do, married or not), I have become passionate about modesty! When I put my clothes on in the morning (or afternoon! LOL…mom of a toddler here!), I look in the mirror and evaluate my outfit. I know I will be bending over to help my son about a million times a day. Do my breasts show when I bend over? I evaluate the fit of my clothes. Tight-fitting clothes, even when breasts are covered up, can trigger the same arousal in men. Is my skirt too short? If I feel particularly sexy in an outfit, I will change. I can save those outfits for dinner dates at home with my husband. Some woman may say I am over-reacting. I vehemently disagree! Our bodies are for our husbands alone. We all want to feel attractive, and that’s just fine, but when we know our outfit may cause a man other than our husband to possibly think sexual thoughts, that’s a big problem! Imagine if all women felt the way I (and so many of us modesty enthusiasts) felt. There would be a lot less tempted husbands out there.

Now, I realize sometimes it’s hard to find modest clothes that are still cute. Designers make clothes that will sell. Sex sells. But there are some great solutions for this problem. I love love love that longer shorts and capris are back in style now! I also love a good maxi dress. Cardigans are my favorite piece of clothing to keep my shoulders covered up. I also buy camis from a company called http://www.modesty4me.com. You can receive $3 off your first order with this discount code: SS445. Check them out!

Let’s continue to pray for our husbands and do everything we can to avoid being a temptations for other women’s husbands. Amen?

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Affection

In this chapter, Stormie tells a story about a man, Tom and his wife, Patti. Neither grew up in a home where affection was given to them and this was affecting the way they related with each other in marriage. Tom didn’t show Patti affection because of his upbringing, and Patti desperately needed affection because of her upbringing. The lack of affection from Tom was affecting Patti so much that she feared the issue would lead to divorce.

“Finally, Patti’s misery forced her to take the problem to her prayer partners. They diligently covered it in prayer every week and as they prayed, God worked on Patti. He spoke to her about obeying Him in the area of eating right and getting proper exercise – an area where she had always been in rebellion. When she totally submitted to God regarding this and started doing the things He had been telling her to do, she began to feel better about herself and realized that she deserved to be treated affectionately by her husband. She didn’t have to feel guilty about wanting affection because the Lord wanted that for her too.” (The Power of A Praying Wife, Pages 69, 70)

Although my story isn’t just like Patti’s, I’ve experienced a lack of affection from my husband at times. It also affected me so much that I did take it to the Lord in prayer and He showed me some things about myself that I wasn’t expecting. One thing He showed me was that I was preventing my husband from being affectionate. My husband would try to be affectionate, but I would be so self conscious about my body that anytime his hands ran over a “trouble spot” I would retreat. He could feel me tense up and eventually give up. I would be so upset because I truly wanted the affection from him, I just didn’t know how to get past the discomfort of him possibly thinking I was fat. Another thing the Lord showed me was that I needed to start eating right and exercising. This all happened after I gave birth to my son. My husband was already feeling left out and then I would shy away from his affection thinking he wanted more than I could give at the time. As I started eating better and walking for exercise, I started feeling better about myself and welcomed his affection more. My body didn’t change all that much for the first few months, but my attitude and mindset did. As I welcomed his affection, he became more affectionate. He didn’t feel so left out, and because I was able to steer the affection to a more sexual nature when my body was ready, my husband was a very happy man. His affection didn’t need to always lead to sex and both of us got what we ultimately longed for and needed.

Fast forward a year and a half. I have lost about 40 pounds and I feel so much better about my body that I welcome his affection – except when I’m exhausted from taking care of our toddler all day – which is every day! My husband gets home late from work and some days we just kind of say hello like we are room mates. We are working on this. He knows that at the end of a hard day I need affection, but sometimes I’m in too much pain to receive it. My husband has constantly studied me and knows how to hold me to give me affection without causing more pain.  I am working on receiving his affection even though it might cause me pain. The Lord is always at work in our marriage and I am so thankful! It is amazing how much better I feel when my husband is affectionate. I know he has really long days too and he just wants to relax, but I will continue to pray that his affection is continually poured out on me. I am so glad the Lord cares about things like this!

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Sexuality (Want Great Sex?)

Do you want to have a great sex life? Who doesn’t, right?

Author and speaker, Shelia Wray Gregoire, has a series on her blog called 29 Days to Great Sex. I have found it to be a great resource on all things marriage and sex. I am planning on going through this series, starting today and ending in, well, 29 days. 🙂

Here is the link if you would like to take the journey too. I’m sure your hubby would be thrilled!

http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/02/29-days-to-great-sex-day-1-the-act-of-marriage/