Tag Archives: the power of a praying wife

Starting Again

So, it’s been a while. Ok, a long while. To be honest, I’m not really sure what happened. Life happened, I guess. Toddlerhood happened. My Etsy shop happened. I realized I’m only good at doing a couple things at once and my blog has been left on the back burner. And it makes me sad. I love writing and sharing my heart and I don’t really feel like myself if I’m not writing. So, I’d like to start blogging again more consistently. It’s going to be hard since life happens all. the. time. It’s funny that way.

 

My son will be three next month and as much fun as it is to be home with him everyday, he sucks all the life out of me. ūüôā I go and go and go all day and when I put him into bed and walk back down the hall, my body hurts so much that I either use my rice bags and apply heat to all my sore spots or I ice everything, or I take a pain pill and go to bed. My son gave up napping, and although he does “quiet time”, he is rarely ever quiet, so it’s difficult to concentrate on anything other than laundry or dishes or picking up his million toys. But I do want to write and I have to make a commitment to it.

 

I realized I never finished my series on The Power of A Praying Wife, by Stormie O’Martian, so that will be the first thing I will tackle. Thanks for being understanding and sticking with me! Stay tuned for a new post!

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The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Mind

“I used to attribute my husband’s mind struggles to his musical genius. You know the artistic¬†temperament¬†– bright and brilliant on one hand, dark and moody on the other. When he would get down, the words in his mind told him he was going to fail, be worth nothing, that he was¬†incapable¬†of doing what he needed to do. It had no basis in reality because he had those kinds of thoughts¬†even¬†in the¬†midst¬†of his most productive and successful work. I didn’t realize for a long time that the mind battles he endured did not have to be written off as ‘just the way he is.’ Nor did he have to fight them alone. If he and I were one, than an assault on his mind was an assault on me as well. I could stand with him in the battle by declaring, ‘This is not God speaking into my husband’s life, it’s the voice of the enemy. I’m not going to stand by and watch deadly games being played with his mind and our lives.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 81)

 

This paragraph hit me like a ton of bricks! I could have been writing the beginning part about my husband. See, Stormie and I have that in common. Our husbands are successful musicians, and although my husband is a happy, joyful person, Satan uses his artistic,¬†analytic¬†mind to plant seeds of doubt. The second part of the above paragraph brought me a hope that I didn’t know I had. I have tried to pull my husband out of his funk myself and it just doesn’t work; he usually just retreats more, leaving me feeling helpless and him in even more despair. I can fight this battle with him! That is great news!

Second Chronicles 32:7-8 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or dismayed before the king of Assyria and all the horde that is with him, for there are more with us than with him.¬†With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God, to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people took confidence from the words of Hezekiah king of Judah.

Satan is real and really good at what he does, but we don’t need to fear, because the Lord is with us and He never leaves us to battle alone!

 

“Even the strongest man can get exhausted, overwhelmed, burdened, desperate, or caught up in things that keep him away from the presence of God. He doesn’t always see the traps of an enemy who wants him to believe that what he faces is¬†insurmountable. His mind fills with words like ‘hopeless,’ ‘no good,’ ‘failure,’ ‘impossible,’ ‘it’s over,’ and ‘why try?’ A wife can pray that he husband will discern the lies and hear instead words like ‘hope,’ ‘prosperity,’ ‘possibility,’ ‘success,’ and ‘new beginning’ and know that they’re from God.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 82)¬†

 

Stormie writes that there are two powerful weapons against the attack of lies upon our husbands’ minds. They are the Word of God and praise.

Hebrews 4:12 says, ” The Word of God is living and¬†powerful,¬†sharper¬†than¬†any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of the soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thought and intents of the heart.” What an awesome verse! If you don’t already have it memorized, I encourage you to meditate on it this week and memorize it!

Second Timothy 1:7 says ” God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

Stormie writes,

 

“By speaking God’s Word, you can reveal wrong thinking and it will lose its power. If your husband won’t do it for himself, you can speak the Word of God over him, either in his presence or alone in prayer, and see positive results…..Praise is also a powerful tool because God’s presence comes to dwell in our midst when we worship Him. In His presence we find healing and transformation for our lives……You don’t want futile thoughts to darken your husband’s heart. Speak praise to God for your husband’s sound mind, and¬†he’ll¬†be¬†able¬†to think more clearly about what he will and will not allow into it.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 83)

 

This chapter has been a great encouragement to me and I’m excited to start praying for my husband’s mind! I’ll leave you with these verses:

Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but might in Gd for pulling down stronghold, casting down argument and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

 

 

The Power Of A Praying Wife – His Temptations

“Temptation is everywhere today and we’re fools if we think we or our husbands can’t be lured by it in some form or another. The Bible says, “They eyes of man are never satisfied” (Proverbs 27:20). If that’s true, temptation is always a possibility and we must be ever watchful. Certain people are tempted by alcohol and drugs; others have a lust for money and power. Still others find food addictions, pornography, or sexual immorality to be¬†irresistible lures¬† The enemy of our¬†souls¬†knows where our flesh is the weakest and he will put temptations in our paths at our most vulnerable points. The question is not¬†whether¬†there will be temptations, it’s how we will handle them when they arise. I recommend praying through them. While prayer may not be¬†able¬†to stop a man from doing something he is¬†determined¬†to do, it CAN diminish the¬†voices¬†of temptation and strengthen his resolve. it can pave the way for him to make right choices.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 76)

 

After talking with my husband about this, I realized that the things men struggle with or consider temptations are very different than what I think women (or at least myself) struggle with. I think Lust tops the list for men. God created men to be visually stimulated and since so many women lack modesty, this can be a huge temptation for them. It doesn’t work that way for most women so it’s not something we think about much. For myself, I think about this often because I know my husband stands on stage every week leading worship at church and he has mentioned to me how distracting it is when there are women wearing inappropriate clothes to church.

I’ve heard so many women say that it’s not their problem and that guys just need to get over it. It doesn’t work that way!!! Our husbands have a choice as to whether they are going to give a woman a second look, but ¬†Satan (and their flesh) can plant thoughts in their minds with the innocent first look. My heart is so heavy for our husbands! I know my husband is faithful; he does everything he can to avoid temptation, but IT IS EVERYWHERE! We need to be in constant prayer for our husbands!

If you husband is struggling with a particular temptation and he tells you about it, please resist the urge to be angry at him. He obviously doesn’t want the temptation and he trusts you enough to tell you he is struggling. Become his partner in fighting it! Talk about it, pray about it together and let the Lord work to strengthen your husband to avoid the temptation! If he has fallen to the particular temptation, continue to pray. Stormie writes,

 

“I know several couples who have experienced adultery in their¬†marriages, but because in each case there was a wife who was willing to pray and a husband open to allowing God to change and restore him, the¬†marriages¬†are still¬†intact¬†and successful today. Only prayer, a submitted heart, and the transforming power of the Hold Spirit can work those kinds of miracles.”(The Power Of A Praying Wife, page 75)

 

If you feel overwhelmed by your husband’s fall, you don’t have to pray alone. Please talk with your pastor’s wife or another godly woman. It may also be¬†necessary¬†for you and your husband to go to¬†counseling¬†together. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. The Lord can work miracles in your marriage. Keep praying!

 

Stormie also writes, “The best time to start praying about this is BEFORE anything happens. Jesus¬†instructed¬†his disciples to ‘pray that you may not ever into temptation’ (Luke 22:40). He said be watchful because ‘the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak’ (Mark 14:38). If your husband struggles in a certain area, pray that he will want to have godly prayer partners with whom he can share openly, be accountable, and receive prayer.” (The Power¬†Of A Praying Wife, pages 76,77)

 

This is awesome advice! Pray, pray, pray!

And because we can’t really ever pray for our husbands without examining ourselves also, I’d like to touch on a few things we should consider. While I was reading this chapter, I was reminded of the Esther study I went through a couple years ago by Beth Moore. There was a particular part of the study when she talks about mean girls. The video below is the segment I am talking about. Take a few minutes to watch it and then jump below for the rest of my thoughts.

Now, when I was younger, there was a time when I would have been considered a mean girl. I dressed in a way that would put men’s attention on me. I didn’t really care if the men had girlfriends or wives; I enjoyed the attention dressing immodestly brought me. I was longing to be loved and this was how I was able (in my mind) to attain it. This was a dark time in my life. And guess what? I was a Christian! I loved Jesus, but I was hurting and not trusting Him to be everything I needed to be loved.

Beth Moore is right when she says we know exactly what we are doing when we dress to get men’s attention. Knowing my husband struggles with this area (pretty much ALL men do, married or not), I have become passionate about modesty! When I put my clothes on in the morning (or afternoon! LOL…mom of a toddler here!), I look in the mirror and evaluate my outfit. I know I will be bending over to help my son about a million times a day. Do my breasts show when I bend over? I evaluate the fit of my clothes. Tight-fitting clothes, even when breasts are covered up, can trigger the same arousal in men. Is my skirt too short? If I feel particularly sexy in an outfit, I will change. I can save those outfits for dinner dates at home with my husband. Some woman may say I am over-reacting. I¬†vehemently disagree! Our bodies are for our husbands alone. We all want to feel attractive, and that’s just fine, but when we know our outfit may cause a man other than our husband to possibly think sexual thoughts, that’s a big problem! Imagine if all women felt the way I (and so many of us modesty¬†enthusiasts)¬†felt. There would be a lot less tempted husbands out there.

Now, I realize sometimes it’s hard to find modest clothes that are still cute. Designers make clothes that will sell. Sex sells. But there are some great solutions for this problem. I love love love that longer shorts and capris are back in style now! I also love a good maxi dress. Cardigans are my favorite¬†piece¬†of clothing to keep my shoulders covered up. I also buy camis from a company called¬†http://www.modesty4me.com. You can receive $3 off your first order with this discount code: SS445. Check them out!

Let’s continue to pray for our husbands and do everything we can to avoid being a temptations for other women’s husbands. Amen?

His Work – Rest And Enjoyment

“If you husband is a hard worker,¬†make¬†sure he has times of rest and enjoyment – to do things that entertain him ¬†give him a reprieve from the weight of a lifetime of supporting his family. Men need periods of refreshing. If they don’t have them, they are prone to burn out and temptation of all kinds. Your prayers can help your husband understand the true meaning of life doesn’t come from work, it comes from following God. Let’s pray for our husbands to find that perfect¬†balance.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 52)

Does your husband have times of rest and enjoyment? I know for my husband, those times are few and far between. I happen to be an extrovert. I am energized when I am around people – girls’ night out, fellowship at church, even a trip to Target with my mom and sis. I would never pass up a party! I start to become very¬†discouraged¬†and a little depressed when I am home by myself for long periods at a time (and for me, a long period is about 3 days!). My husband, on the other hand is an introvert. It is crucial for him to be alone. For a long time, I didn’t understand this! When he would come home after a long week, I would have our whole weekend planned out with lots of outings and visiting people; I could see the¬†disappointment¬†on his face. He would say, “I’ve been gone all week, I just want to stay home.” Then I would say, “Well, I’ve been home all week, and I just want to be out!” This became an issue we had to work though. He tries to be understanding and will rarely tell me no when I ask him to attend a party or go out with me; I think this is because I have been more understanding of his feelings before I ask him. I choose the most important things I would like to attend. I will also attend things by myself (with our son) so my husband can have alone time to rest and energize.

My husband does not have many friends. His hobbies are a bit esoteric; he is a musician, he builds¬†wooden¬†clocks, he builds guitar pedals and rolling ball sculptures. He doesn’t like sports (at all!) and isn’t into guy stuff like cars. He prefers to read for long periods of time or make music lesson videos to put on his Youtube page (http://www.youtube.com/user/drumennut?feature=guide¬†– yes, shameless plug! :)) and he doesn’t like being around large groups of people.

Your husband may be the complete opposite and it may take some study to figure out what he needs so he can rest and have fun. Either way, find out what he loves to do and make sure he takes time for himself. He will be happier and healthier for it!

Genesis 2:2 says, “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.” Now we know that God didn’t need to rest, He’s God! But he rested to be an example to us. The Lord knows us so intimately and knows that if we don’t rest, we will get burned out, and like Stormie said, we will be prone to temptation of all kinds. I know my husband has mentioned he is more tempted (and falls to more temptation) when he is tired. Its the perfect time for Satan to attack him. He is less alert and it’s harder for him to fight¬†temptation¬†when his body and mind are exhausted.

We must pray for our husbands’ work. But we must also pray that we are able to help him find times of rest and enjoyment. Below are two pictures I found that I love. The introvert poster helped me to effectively minster to my husband. I hope one of the posters helps you too!

His Wife – Shut Up And Pray

Although I hate the phrase “Shut up” (It has always been a no no in our home growing up and currently), I completely get where Stormie is going with this! There are definitely times when it is better to remain quiet about an issue and pray your heart out than to speak your mind and make matters worse. This is something I struggle with often.

She writes:

“There is a time to speak and a time NOT to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two….A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words can not be erased. They can only be forgiven and that is not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 32)

Did you catch that last sentence? Really take it in. ” Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s better to, well, shut up and pray.”¬†

This is where I struggle. Have you ever had these thoughts?

“Well, I’m only trying to help!”

“If I don’t tell him what he’s doing wrong, how will he know?”

“Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m saying; I better tell him for the 100th time.”

Oh, sweet sister, he understands what you’re saying and he’s getting fed up hearing it a bunch of times! How do I know? My husband’s told me this many times! I’m guilty of arguing for hours and saying the same thing over and over again. I am sure the Lord would be able to work in the situation if I would just keep my mouth closed and pray the prayer from yesterday’s reading!

There are also times when we aren’t in an argument that I should still keep my mouth shut; times when I’ve asked my husband to do something and after a few days (or weeks), it isn’t done.

“It took me a number of years to learn what¬†millions¬†of women have learned over the centuries. NAGGING DOESN’T WORK! Criticizing doesn’t work. Sometimes, just plain talking doesn’t accomplish anything either. I’ve found that prayer is the only thing that ALWAYS works. The safe guard you have with prayer is that you have to go through God to do it. This means you can’t get away with a bad attitude, wrong thinking, or incorrect motives. When you pray, God reveals¬†anything¬†is your personality that is resistant to His order of things.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Pages 32,33)

Can you relate to this? I can! She says that prayer is the only thing that works. When I first read that I was thinking, “I’ve prayed before that Mike would do things and he still has not done them! Prayer doesn’t always work!” Well, prayer doesn’t always work the way I want it to. She clarifies by saying that since we have to Go through God to pray, He straightens everything out. Maybe we are praying with a bad attitude or with wrong motives; it is possible that we are praying with right motives, but our prayer just doesn’t align with God’s plan.

“My¬†husband¬†will not do something he doesn’t want to do. And if he ends up doing something he¬†doesn’t¬†want to do, his¬†immediate¬†family members will pay for it. If there is anything I really want him to do, I’ve¬†learned¬†to pray about it until I have God’s peace in my heart BEFORE I ask. Sometimes God changes my heart about it, or shows me a different way so I don’t have to say anything. If I do need to say something, I try not to just blurt it out. I pray first for God’s leading.”¬†(The Power Of A Praying Wife, Page 33)

When I read that last paragraph, I started to get angry. She talks about how when her husband is pressured into doing something he doesn’t want to do, his family suffers. I can relate. I’ve pressured my husband into doing things and he finally does them and he isn’t happy about it and I know it. He can have a bad attitude about it or be distant. That isn’t right! But you know what I learned this week? I can not control him. It’s not my job! (Though sometimes I feel like it is….God is working on my heart!) I can’t control his actions or words or attitudes. I can control mine though! And that is what is required of me. The Lord will work on my husband’s heart. ¬†I need to let Him work on mine and continue to pray for my husband.

I’ll leave you with this today:

“While honesty is a requirement for a¬†successful¬†marriage, telling your husband¬†everything¬†that is wrong with him is not¬†only¬†ill-advised, it probably doesn’t reveal the¬†complete¬†truth. The total truth is from God’s perspective and He, undoubtedly, doesn’t have the same problem with some of your husband’s actions as you do. Our goal must not be to get our husbands to do what WE want, but¬†rather¬†release¬†them¬†to God so He can get them to do what HE wants…If you DO have to say words that are hard to hear, ask God to help you discern when your husband would be most open to hearing them. Pray for the right words and for his heart to be totally receptive. I know that’s difficult to do if you have a few choice words you’re dying to let loose.¬†But¬†hard as it may seem, it’s best to let God hear them first so He can temper them with His Spirit.” (The Power Of A Praying Wife, Pages 34,35)